Darek Trueblood
by LilyJames addict
Summary: You know how it's always Harry being turned into a girl? What if, instead, it was Lily being turned into a guy? How would she be able to get together with, let alone fall for, James Potter? You know you want to take a look...zany!Sirius, LJ.
1. You'll Just Have To Deal With It

Disclaimer: Just for the sake of my time, I'm going to officially denounce any claim of mine to the characters in Harry Potter, belonging to Jo Rowling, and in any way associated with Warner Bros. This stands for the entirety of this story, and in no way do I intend to infringe on copyrights…as if I could claim HP as my own…hah, what a joke.

Dedication: to my friend who lists his activity as "Mmm... List of 724 satellites' vectors..."

**Important Note**: Lily is in a year behind the Marauders and Snape.

James says 'Hi' from his new pad in the Library.

Chapter 1: You'll Just Have To Deal With It

_-- First Year --_

Lily stared at the black haired boy laughing at her, her eyes tearing up at his cruel joke.

"Awww…is the little firstie gonna _cry_?" He laughed harder at her.

"Leave her alone Black." A boy spat from behind Lily's wavy red hair. Or, used to be wavy red hair…it was currently green, spun up in a cone, with a star on top and lights like a Christmas tree.

He sneered. "What do you want with her, Snivellus?"

"Nothing. But at least I don't want to shame her."

"Shut up Death Eater."

Snape stiffened. "I would not go about branding people by there backgrounds if I were you."

Sirius tensed, as if to pounce, but before he could spring a hand grabbed his shoulder.

"What's going on here?" A boy with messy raven locks and a black robe with a red lion on it intervened.

Lily paused in her tears to look at him, hoping that he would save her. Then, her hopes were crushed.

"Snivellus interrupted a prank Prongs." Lily's face fell as the boy joined her tormentor.

"Get lost Snivellus." He commanded, sniggering at the sight Lily was presenting him.

She cried silently.

"Potter, come to join in the fun?" Snape sneered.

The new boy, Potter, sneered back and pulled Black with him.

"Let's go Padfoot. There's nothing left to do here."

As they left Potter turned and waved his wand at Lily. She looked at him in surprise through her watery eyes as she felt her hair fall back into place.

The two boys with lions on their robes departed, swaggering off down the corridor.

Lily turned fearfully to the dark boy behind her. For the first time she looked at her defender. He was not particularly good-looking, as were her tormentors, and his nose was rather large, and looked like it had been broken and healed crooked. On his robe's crest was a green serpent, and his hair was lanky and oily looking.

He looked at her with a small amount of pity. "Come along." He sighed. "You can sit with me." He turned and started walking towards his compartment. As he turned in the doorway he glanced back. "Well? Are you coming in or not?"

Lily squeaked and ran towards him.

They sat down opposite each other in silence. The dark boy pulled out a book and began reading, as Lily sat back into the plush red cushions, sniffling.

After a few minutes the boy put down his book, sighing. "What do you want?"

Lily shook slightly.

The boy looked at her in annoyance. "Just spit it out."

"Are you going to make fun of me? Because of my hair?"

The boy snorted. "Why should I? My hair is the same color."

Lily began to protest, taking a lock of her hair in front of her eyes, but she paused. Her bright red hair…it was black. Her eyes began to water, but she did not cry, to cry would be to give in, and she had already cried that day.

The boy watched her freeze in shock, watched her eyes water and then grow cold as she stiffened. _Yes, she will do nicely._

"My name is Severus Snape, I am in Slytherin. Those boys were Sirius Black and James Potter, they are in Gryffindor. We do not get along." He smirked and Lily let out a small giggle, that much was obvious.

As the sky grew dark Severus explained magic, Hogwarts, and the rivalries she was about to enter into.

As they neared the castle Severus turned to Lily. "I hope you will be placed in Slytherin. I think we will get along well."

Lily gave a small smile. "I hope so as well." She said, fingering her newly colored hair.

Severus gestured towards her hair. "I think it's better that you leave it black. You will fit in better…It will make it easier…"

Lily nodded. "Thank you."

He glanced at her. "No problem."

Lily smiled and left the compartment.

Snape shook his head and followed her, though he turned towards the carriages, joining his fellow Slytherins, rather than following Hagrid.

"I hear you were hanging out with a mudblood first year." Rookwood sneered.

Snape glanced condescendingly at him. "That she may be, but she has already formed a hatred against the _Marauders_ as they call themselves. It can be nurtured…I sensed a strong power from her…We would do well to overlook her, _unfortunate_ status, and use her well."

Bellatrix nodded in agreement. "Severus is right." She turned to Snape. "I do hope you did something about that _hair_…it's almost as if she were trying to be _Gryffindor._" She shuddered and Rookwood and Narcissa Black laughed.

Severus nodded. "Potter did her the favor of charming it black. It will not be hard to retain the color."

Bella smirked. "Wonderful."

Severus smirked as well before letting his face relax into a bland expression.

--

As Lily separated from Severus, or Sev, as she had begun to call him, she heard a booming voice. "Firs' years! Firs' years over here! C'mon now, follow me! Ever'one here? Right then, mind yer step now! This way!"

The first years gathered around the giant of a man as he led them down a slippery staircase cut into the rock.

"Yeh'll get yer firs' sight of Hogwarts in a sec." The giant said.

As they rounded the bend in the path they all paused, staring in awe at the mighty castle.

There were more turrets than Lily could count, and the central tower was at least 20 metres taller than any other tower. She could see the grand entrance, with its towering stone dragons, and past that, they carriages letting the older students off in the Entrance Hall.

"No more'n four to a boat!" The giant called.

Lily quickly clambered into a boat and was shortly joined by a girl and two boys.

One boy was glaring at the other two. Lily extended a hand to him. "Lily Evans, hopefully Slytherin."

He looked down at her hand, but shook it anyway. "Regulus Black. I will be in Slytherin."

The other two glanced at Lily and Regulus, but declined to introduce themselves, and retreated to the aft of the small rowboat.

"Everyone in? Good, good. FORWARD!" He shouted, raising his pink umbrella.

Lily giggled at the sight of a giant, in a rowboat, holding, of all things, a _pink umbrella_ above his head, as if he were the Statue of Liberty (she had seen pictures of the American symbol).

Regulus glanced at her. "The great oaf does look pretty stupid." He sneered. "Probably because he is."

Lily was taken aback. But then, Sev _had_ said that most Slytherins were purebloods -- which meant that they were condescending towards any who were not their type, specifically mudbloods. Lily was well aware that she fell under the mudblood category, and that it would make it hard for her in Slytherin. But her other options were to be placed in a sissy house, a know-it-all house, or in a house with Black and Potter.

Speaking of Black… "Are you related to Sirius Black, by any chance?" Her faced twisting as she said the name.

Regulus glared at her. "Yes." He ground out. "He's my big brother. The dirty, mudblood-loving blood traitor."

Lily smirked.

He glared at her. "Why?"

"Oh, nothing."

He glared at her even harder, making her giggle.

"Nothing really…I hate him."

Regulus relaxed and smirked in an almost-grin fashion (but to grin would be un-Slytherin, no, he must stick to sneering, smirking, frowning, glaring, and snorting). "I think we'll be good friends then." He shot her an appraising look. "Yes, I think you'll do quite nicely."

Lily grinned (she was not yet a _true_ Slytherin) as they boats passed through a wall of ivy.

The boats came up to the shore and the students scrambled out onto the rocks.

As everyone arranged themselves the giant knocked three times on a large oak door.

It was opened by a tall, black and grey-haired witch in a proper sort of emerald green robes.

"The firs' years, Professor McGonagall."

"Thank you Hagrid, I shall take them from here."

The giant gave a cross between a bow and a nod and slipped, well…trundled, behind McGonagall into the castle.

"First years, if you will follow me, please." The professor led them to an ante-chamber. "You will wait here quietly until I return." She gave one severe look to the students before sweeping through the doors.

At once the first years began chattering away to their new and old friends. Regulus swaggered over to a group of dark looking boys, Lily quickly following.

As she entered their circle then gave her appraising looks, the sort of look that a cheetah might give a gazelle before killing it.

"And to what do we owe the wonderful presence of a _mudblood_ in our circle?" A tall, handsome looking boy sneered.

Regulus smirked. "This is Lily Evans. A fellow Slytherin."

Eyebrows raised. If a _Black_ was supporting her…

"Well then, I guess we'll just have to save a space for her at the table?" The dark boy smirked.

Lily stayed silent, standing next to Regulus.

McGonagall came sweeping back in. "Line up in two single file lines. Now!" She barked as the students hurried to do as she said.

The boys Lily was standing with moved slowly, staring McGonagall down. She stared back at them, almost resentfully, as though she wished they weren't there.

"Follow me and keep up."

She led the way into the vast hall.

Lily's head automatically whipped upwards to stare at the magnificent ceiling in awe.

"It's charmed to be the same as outside."

Lily spun around to see the dark boy behind her.

She looked back up. "And if it rains?"

"It's not _real_, it just _looks_ real. That's the big difference you know? What things _look_ like, and what they really _are_."

She glanced back, only to see he had moved further back. As she turned towards the front she forgot his warning in favor of staring at her surroundings, unaware that it was one of the most important lessons she would ever learn.

When they reached the front McGonagall stopped, and the first years crowded around a stool with a hat situated on it.

Everyone stood still for a minute, and then the brim of the ratty old hat ripped open. Lily jumped in surprise.

(Insert Sorting Hat Song of your choosing….)

Lily clapped slowly with the others at the end of the hat's song. It was one thing to hear about magic, and see boats move of their own accord, but somehow, seeing an inanimate object, a _hat_, burst into song, took the cake.

"When I call your name, please come forward and sit on the stool to be sorted." McGonagall said, unrolling a list.

"Abercrumbie, Susan!"

A short blond haired girl came forward, shaking. As soon as the hat was placed on her head it opened. "RAVENCLAW!"

One of the middle tables cheered as she ran down to it, smiling.

After that it seemed only a matter of minutes before Lily was called.

"Evans, Lily!"

A Lily walked forwards and as she sat on the stool, McGonagall lowered the Hat onto her head.

_Ah, a newbie._ Lily flinched in surprise. _It's me, the Hat._ Lily widened her eyes. _It is pretty shocking if you're not used to the whole magic deal. _It chuckled. _But now, the reason you're up here. Hmm… You're too competitive for Hufflepuff… Too impulsive for Ravenclaw… The hard decision is between Gryffindor…and Slytherin._

Lily sat stock still. Sirius Black was in Gryffindor. Severus Snape was in Slytherin.

"_Please…let me be in Slytherin."_

_You could be great in Gryffindor. You would be supported._

"_Please, not Gryffindor."_

_Slytherin will not favor you, it will be tough, they make it hard for you._

"_Please….not Gryffindor."_

_I think you're making a mistake…But you will correct it eventually…_

"SLYTHERIN!"

Lily let out a small smile, trying to forget the hat's last warning. She stood up and walked over to the slightly clapping green and silver table, her newly blackened hair swinging behind her.

Regulus nodded to her as she took the place next to him.

At the end of the ceremony seven new boys and three girls (including Lily) had been sorted into Slytherin.

Lily's roommates were Clara MacDougal and Theresa Moon.

The cute dark boy who had explained the ceiling was Lyle Zabini.

Later on, after the feast, the prefects led the first years to their new dorms in the stone dungeons.

Lily shivered as she looked around her new room. _At least there's space._

--

Note: Hagrid's intro to the First Years was shamelessly lifted from SS, I had no idea what he would say and his accent is beyond me, so…and just so you know, I will be murdering the comma rules in almost every way possible. So be prepared to overlook the details.

So I'm breaking my self-promise to never write cliché, overused plot lines. Apparently my word doesn't mean much to me. I guess I have a slightly less used version of the twist, but it is a usual twist nonetheless. Plus, the fact that I have school dances/balls is terrible enough, let alone there be LJ chemistry in them. I shall burn in the deepest circle of hell, reserved for ff writers who use overused plot devices, but even if I do, please, enjoy the story and REVIEW!


	2. Flight

Note: It starts off kinda slow, but I have to set the background before I can move on to the _real_ story.

Chapter 2: Flight

Lily sighed. She was glad she wasn't in Gryffindor, but she wasn't so sure about Slytherin anymore.

Severus, her savior, had barely glanced her way in the last week. Regulus said 'Hi' a couple of times, but everybody already knew everyone else from their pureblood circles.

Academically, however, Hogwarts was amazing. They had barely done any magic yet, but the professors had demonstrated a couple of times, making the students all the more exited.

Lily had already read through her books during the summer. She had read and reread them, memorizing most of the facts within. But when she sat down to practice the actual spells, her magic failed her. In fact, it seemed like she didn't have any at all, and if it weren't for the fact that she had inadvertently turned Potter and Black's hair bubble gum pink, she would have believed Dumbledore had made a mistake.

Walking through the common room the second week of school, she heard her fellow first years chattering excitedly.

"This is gonna be so cool!"

"My mother forbid me from flying, but my dad took me out a couple of times when she was out."

"I have a Comet 360, the fastest broom available." That was Regulus. "My parents bought it for me for my birthday last year. Sirius was so jealous."

"Doesn't he still ride a Comet 200?"

"Yeah." Regulus snorted. "It _was_ the best…two years ago. I guess you could say he hasn't received anything lately." He shared a smirk with his comrades.

"Serves him right. Associating with mudbloods and _Potters_."

Lily had quickly learned that whenever her fellow Slytherins said anything bad about mudbloods they had a tendency to glance at her. However well they were brought up, none had seemed to have learned the art of discreet glancing. She ignored the looks and continued doing whatever she was doing, letting the name slide.

"Hey Evans!" Lily turned to see Regulus waving her over.

Lily walked over silently, raising a questioning eyebrow.

Regulus smirked. "Ready to fly?"

Lily shrugged. "On what?"

He snorted and his followers snickered. "A broom, duh. Don't tell me you've never flown."

Lily stared at him blankly. "I haven't."

"Don't you watch Quidditch?"

"What?"

His eyes widened and he tilted his head to the left slightly.

"Now I know you're joking."

"That's me." Lily said with a bland face. "The jokester, soon I'll put the Marauders out of business." She deadpanned.

Regulus' gang watched her strangely.

"I saw that prank you pulled on Potter and my brother dearest."

Lily raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"

"Yeah, it was pretty sweet. They look good with pink hair." He chuckled.

The group became distracted by the already infamous prank. Nobody got the Marauders. They were untouchable.

Unless, of course, you were Lily Evans.

"That was you?" A blond boy asked disbelievingly.

Lily looked him over. By the way he stood in the group, it seemed that he was the co-commander with Regulus. "Yea." She crossed her arms defensively.

He didn't move for a minute, but then stuck out a hand. "Liam Prince."

That was the signal for everyone else as they began introducing themselves.

"Well, time for some food, eh?" Regulus stated, more than asked.

"Shut up Black. You're not Canadian and you're never gonna be Canadian, so stop acting like it." Liam said, standing next to Lily. "And don't even think about American."

Lily smirked at Regulus' outraged face.

"So." Liam said to her. "You've never ridden a broom before?"

"No." Lily said.

"Well, the first class is tomorrow. We'll see about your skill and then we'll work on what needs to be worked on." He threw an arm around her shoulder. "We'll have you flying circles around James Potter in no time."

"Why would I want to fly circles around Potter?" Lily asked.

"He wasn't allowed on the team last year, but I heard McGonagall nearly bent the rules so he could play. First years haven't played on the Quidditch teams in nearly a century. That's how good he is." Liam said as they left the common room.

Lily raised an eyebrow. "I'll be better than Potter could ever dream of being."

Liam smirked over her head to Regulus, who had appeared on her other side.

"I have no doubt you will."

--

"Alright now. You listen good and hard. I don't want any fooling around. You will do what I say, how I say and when I say."

Lily cowered slightly under the imposing frame of Madam Hooch.

"Alright then. Stand next to a broom, hold your hand over the handle and say 'Up!' in a commanding voice."

Lily stood next to an old Blazing Star. She felt stupid as she held her hand out. "Up!" She ordered loudly. To her surprise the broom leapt to her hand and she grinned, looking around. A few of the Gryffindor boys and gotten it, and nearly all the Slytherin boys had as well. But Lily was the only girl standing with her broom in her hand.

Madam Hooch shot her an appraising look, with a small amount of surprise in her yellowish hawk-like eyes.

After a couple minutes Hooch told everyone who hadn't commanded their brooms up to pick them.

Regulus shot Lily a bored look of shared superiority.

Lily smirked back at him.

"Now I want everyone to pay attention. I'm going to show you how to mount your brooms. Sit back, towards the tail, and grip the broom firmly in your hands." She came around to everyone, stopping to correct a few (including Regulus - he was not pleased as the Gryffindors snickered at him). "Good. Now, on the count of three I'm going to blow my whistle and you are going to kick SOFTLY off the ground before tilting forward and landing." She emphasized the 'softly' in an oxymoronic way.

"One, two, three." She blew her whistle.

Everyone kicked off the ground together and when Madam Hooch yelled, "Down!" down they all came.

"Good, good. Now I'm going to go down the row and see you off in pairs."

Lily watched her approach the line at her end. Pairing them up in her mind, she looked to the left and saw Liam. "Guess this is when we see how good you are."

Lily smiled shakily.

"Just remember to give a firm push as you take off."

She nodded at him.

As they waited for Madam Hooch to approach, they watched the Gryffindors fly into the air and come back down, laughing at a couple of the girls when they shrieked and almost fell off the brooms.

When she finally reached the two young Slytherins Lily had almost worked off her nervousness.

"I want to two to go up, just to get the feel of it. Come down when you don't feel comfortable anymore." She smiled at the pale Lily.

Lily nodded and watched as Liam bent his knees slightly and suddenly shot off the ground.

Hooch pursed her lips. "Well then." She muttered at waited for Lily to take off as well.

Lily bent her knees as Liam had done and straightened them, as though she were jumping.

For a second she felt like an idiot, and then she felt the wind rushing through her hair.

She had never felt more peaceful in the silence of the wind and air before. She loosened her grip on the old broom, feeling her instinct take over.

Leaning forward slightly she leveled out. Then, leaning sideways, she rolled over in midair.

She let out a whoop of glee and turned to see an impressed Liam sitting in the air next to her.

"Pretty good. You said you've never been on a broom before?"

Lily laughed. "Never."

Liam smiled at her glee. "Can you do a flip?"

Lily grinned at the idea, speeding off and turning around. She proceeded to spin forwards on the broom until she was in front of Liam again.

"Bet you can't do a corkscrew."

She smirked at the challenge.

-- Inside Transfiguration --

"Hey James. Who's that firstie out there?"

James Potter glanced out the window and widened his eyes at the tight forward roll, followed by a corkscrew to the ground the firstie executed, flying back up to another waiting firstie. "No idea."

"Not bad huh?" Sirius Black said, watching as the flier did some of the most amazing stunts he had ever seen a student do.

James just watched in awe as the firstie combined a nosedive with a forward roll; using the roll to slow down their speed just before hitting the ground, and, hanging upside down, zig zag up to their friend.

"Mr. Potter! While it may not seem important to you, it is essential that you practice the wand movement with the rest of the class. Please pay attention or it will be detention!"

Sirius sniggered.

"You too, Mr. Black!"

They both look chastised until McGonagall looked away.

Then they glanced out the window to see the two fliers diving and landing next to Madam Hooch.

"Reckon you've got yourself some competition, Potter."

"Shut up Black."

-- Back Outside --

Lily and Liam stood before Madam Hooch, trying not to laugh at her face.

It was white and blotchy red from all the yelling and jumping around she had done while the class watched in awe as Lily maneuvered her broom like an old pro in response to Liam's dares.

Breathing heavily, Hooch glared at Lily in particular. "Never, in all my years, have I ever seen such reckless flying from a child. Eleven years, no less! My God girl, do you understand what could have happened to you?"

Lily nodded demurely, not looking at her fellow classmates in fear of breaking down in laughter.

Seemingly gathering herself, Madam Hooch nodded at both of them. "Very well. I suggest you stay firmly on the ground while I continue on, or you'll be out of here before you can say 'Quidditch'!"

As soon as Hooch left, Lily and Liam glanced at each other and began laughing. A few minutes later, Regulus and Lyle Zabini came over with Theresa and Clara. The stared at the laughing pair for a minute before the two Slytherins got it together.

"That was bloody amazing!" Regulus burst out. "Hell no you haven't been on a broom before."

Lily smirked and shook her head. "Never."

Theresa and Clara watched Lily closely. Lily glanced at them, seeing both and amazement at her abilities, as well as a look of condescension. Maybe girls weren't supposed to fly in the pureblood world.

"Too bad you can't be on the team." Zabini said, watching her closely.

"I'll just wait for next year." She said, shrugging.

"Slytherin doesn't allow girls on the team. It never has."

Lily looked blankly at the three boys before her. "Oh well." She carefully composed herself, making sure the disappointment was not visible.

She looked up again, just as the bell rang. "Up for some lunch?" She walked off, tossing her broom carelessly on the grass near Hooch before going in to the castle.

Liam glanced at Regulus. "Think she'd ever make it?"

"Definitely." Regulus' eyes gleamed a bit.

"Too bad then. Sure Slughorn wouldn't let her play?"

"Yeah, he doesn't pick favorites till fourth year. By then it'll be too late for her to join."

Liam watched as the door swung shut behind her.

"Well, I'm famished. I suppose you'll eat now too?"

Regulus nodded and Lyle, Theresa and Clara followed him.

As the group neared the Great Hall Sirius and James stepped out from the shadows.

"Hey Regulus, how's school? Doing well?" Sirius asked in a mock interested voice.

The Slytherins stopped. "What do you want?"

"Come now, that's not the way to talk to your older brother." Sirius sounded hurt.

Regulus glared and Sirius relented in his game.

"Who was that stunt flier?"

"Why do you want to know?"

"Because. Who was it? Zabini? Prince? I know it wasn't you brother, you fly like a sack of potatoes."

Regulus snarled. "It was Lily."

"Lily who? I don't recall a Lily."

"She's a mudblood." Clara spoke up.

"Lily Evans." Liam added.

Sirius and James exchanged a look of surprise.

"A muggleborn girl?" James inquired.

"What's it to you Potter?" Liam arched an eyebrow. "I thought you were all loose in your relationships. Into the equality of all."

James glared at the impertinent first year.

Sirius watched his brother carefully. "You might want to be careful who hears about that little tidbit. You never can tell where the elders are listening from."

He turned to leave, pulling James with him.

"See ya later little bro!" He called over his shoulder, going to sit down at the Gryffindor table.

Regulus sneered after him and led the group over to where Lily was sitting. "Mind if I sit?"

Lily didn't look at him. "No, I was just leaving. What was with Black and Potter?" She asked.

"Nothing." Regulus responded, looking slightly put out. "Sure you don't want to stay?"

"I got those essays for McGonagall and Slughorn. I'd rather finish them during the day."

She got up to leave. "You sure it was nothing?" She glanced at him disbelievingly, before looking over to the Gryffindor table.

"Nothing."

_Review!_


	3. Damn Him

Note: Here we skip forward five years. Nothing much happens between first and fifth, a few pranks, studying, the usual. This first bit is just letting you know what is relevant to the story. You know, setting the scene. Also, Lily's kinda a tomboy if you haven't guessed. More into Quidditch than clothes.

Chapter 3: Damn Him

The following years were much the same for Lily Evans. She was cold and distant, the model Slytherin, only relaxing when she was in the air.

For Christmas during third year, Regulus and the guys pitched in to help buy her a Shooting Star, one of the latest and fastest models available. She thanked them and sat by the fire, watching the embers glow for the rest of the evening.

As second, third, fourth, and fifth years passed Lily grew. She was pretty, but her black hair contrasted too much with her pale skin for her to be truly beautiful. After all, she was a natural red head.

The boys who were attracted to her looks were driven off by her impassive demeanor. Only a few were left to pursue her, and of them Regulus was the closest. But he never seemed to get close to her. There was always a cold stone barrier around her. She rarely laughed or even truly smiled. A true Slytherin, one might say.

While her social life was non-existent, she thrived in her schoolwork, quickly becoming the best student in her year and the school, though James Potter and Sirius Black were basically her equals.

She was one of the few no-name students who had been handpicked by Professor Slughorn, the Potions master, to be part of the 'Slug Club' as it was called. Most of his other favorites were very well connected, or had a vast amount of inheritance.

Though Lily put on a calm, stoic face, her insides were in turmoil. She didn't like Regulus as he liked her, she didn't like _anyone_ like that for that matter. The Slytherins respected her as the smartest student in the school, acknowledged that their House Head favored her, and were in awe of her flying capabilities, but nothing could erase the fact that she was a mudblood, and a girl at that. The only one able to forgive her of that was Severus Snape, and Lily found out that it was because his own father was a muggle, and he could understand the fact that she could do nothing about it. Within her own room, Theresa and Clara represented the stereotype of rich, stuck-up girls. They acted better than her and talked as though they were better than her, but continued to talk to her in a sickeningly sweet tone of voice. The edge on their voices was never gone though, and it was well known that they did _not_ like her. Probably because their dream boys, Regulus and Liam, liked Lily more than them.

The Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs also respected her brilliance and capabilities, as well as the fact that she didn't, as many others in her house did, pick on them. But they steered clear of her, as she always seemed to be followed by Regulus or Liam, and sometimes even Lyle (he was generally a loner).

The Gryffindors disliked her, almost to the point of hate. Especially the Marauders, though Remus Lupin always seemed very reserved whenever Black and Potter were being asses. Black and Potter couldn't forgive her for being better than they were at school, especially as she was a year younger. Potter couldn't ignore the rumors that if Slytherin girls were allowed to play she'd beat him. And most of all, they couldn't forgive her for returning their pranks. She was infamous as the only one to have ever pranked the pranking kings, and she was a year younger, a Slytherin, and a _girl_.

-- The End of Fifth Year --

"Hey Lily, what're your plans for this summer?" Regulus fell back into the couch next to Lily's chair.

"My family's going to France, Spain and Italy. How 'bout you?"

"Sitting at home, sitting at home and sitting at home." He replied wearily.

"Well at least your brother won't be there."

It was well known that Sirius Black had run off to the Potter's after his fifth year, their fourth year.

"Yeah, but other than that small blessing, there's not much else to look forward to. It'd be nice to be able to spend it with someone…" He trailed off, glancing at her.

Lily sighed. It wasn't that she disliked him; in fact she really did like him. He was her pillar in the pureblood world and she relied on him like a brother. That was the problem. He saw her one way. She saw him another.

"What about Liam or Lyle? You guys are always hanging out with each other."

He raised an eyebrow. "Sometimes you need a little more than just conversation…"

Lily could almost hear the _'if you know what I mean…'_ follow his statement. She rolled her eyes. Then why don't you talk to Theresa, she practically _worships_ the ground you walk on."

Regulus snorted. "She's not all that great." He twitched his head, flipping his hair out of his face.

Whatever Lily said about him, it was true that he, like his brother, had inherited _very_ good looks. His hair was long and a gleaming black, and his brown eyes could widen quite a bit, allowing many girls to get lost in his dreamy eyes. He had charmed many girls into believing that he liked them, and only them. Alas, it was a sad sight two weeks later when he dumped them.

Lily thought the display was disgusting, but said nothing, preferring to overlook it. After all, he _was_ the reason she was accepted, and she didn't forget that.

"I'm sure you could find _someone_, more like _anyone_, to amuse you Black." Lily snorted.

"Not anyone, Lily." He said quietly, widening his eyes, trying to draw her in.

She glanced at him and smirked. "That's true, though I _did_ see Potter eyeing you the other day. You should watch out, or you'll be his next conquest."

Regulus made a pained face. "Thanks for the image, Lily dear."

She smirked again. "That's what I'm here for." She stood up, grabbing a pile of books. "Excuse me, but I have to go drop these books off in the library."

Regulus stood up with her and reached for the books. "Let me carry those for you."

Lily rolled her eyes. "I'm fine, Reg. I'll see you at dinner."

She walked out, ignoring his almost hurt look. (Of course, a Slytherin is never hurt…really.)

Lily sighed as she ambled towards the library. This whole Regulus thing was way out of hand. He needed to just _move on_.

Once she reached the library she turned in all the books to Madam Pince and went to go look at the latest Quidditch magazines. The boys in Slytherin all got them, but they were overly protective and didn't believe Lily wouldn't get blush or lipstick all over the covers. Plus, those were the men's Quidditch mags. Lily preferred not to see scantily clad women displaying new model brooms.

So she picked up the women's version, the men not _scantily_ clad, but definitely showing some skin and muscle.

Lily grabbed a few mags and went over by the fire in the library, where the plushiest chairs were.

After a few minutes she felt a presence behind her. Glancing up she spotted Black and Potter, the indomitable duo.

Sighing she looked back into the flames. "What do you want?"

The two Gryffindors took her words as a signal to sit down, one on either side.

"Why Evans, is that any way to treat the brother of your boyfriend?"

Lily sighed. "Regulus is _not_ my boyfriend, and if he were why would I talk to a blood-traitor like you?"

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "That's not it sounded like when I was at home."

Lily noticed a slight hesitation before he said home.

"Oh?"

"He sounded like you two were pretty close…"

Lily wondered what it was with boys and leaving their sentences trailing into a '_if you know what I mean…'_

"He's like a brother, now is that it? Because I'd like to get back to my mags and it would be fantastic if you shoved off."

She waited a moment and snorted when neither boy moved. _"Asses."_ She muttered.

Just as she began reading about the latest broom developed, the Nimbus100, Potter cleared his throat.

Groaning, Lily put down _Quidditch Weekly_. "What?" She said in an aggravated voice.

Watching her carefully, Potter slowly spoke. "How is Slytherin?"

Lily looked at him in disbelief. "What, you thinking of defecting to Slytherin? Please tell me so I can switch to Gryffindor before then." She snorted.

"Really."

She sighed, holding the bridge of her nose. "It's fine."

"Really?" His voice had a questioning inflection this time. "Because I was just checking out a charm book and I heard your dorm mates…what were their names?"

"Theresa and Clara." Sirius supplied. "That was one double date I _never_ want to repeat." He muttered.

Lily made a disgusted face. "You went on a date with _those two_?! And I thought you were supposed to be smart!"

Sirius snorted. "Of course we're smart. Have you seen their chests and their arses? A fine rack there." He smirked. "Too bad you didn't come along." He eyed her.

Lily rolled her eyes. "And lose all ability of comprehensible speech? Thank you, but no."

"You know you want me." Sirius smirked at her.

Lily put down her mags and walked over to him. Leaning over and letting Sirius get a glimpse as she moved closer, she placed her knees on his legs.

Sirius lay back in the chair, used to the attention, but slightly shocked at its source.

"Oh Sirius, now you know why I could never date your brother. He's a mere boy to your man." She whispered as she pushed herself against him.

She kissed his neck fleetingly and felt his excitement. Taking his head in her hands she slowly kissed his forehead, eyelids, nose, and both cheeks.

Just as Sirius leaned forwards, he felt himself covered in water.

Opening his eyes in shock and shaking out his hair like a dog, he spotted Lily sitting back in her chair. Only the upwards turn of the corner of her mouth to indicate any amusement.

Glancing at James he found his best friend restraining himself to a smirk.

"Hey Evans." James said. "Think I can get that without the water?"

Lily didn't look up. "I always thought you wanted a Slytherin. But you must have mistaken me for Regulus. He would be distraught if he heard about us."

James looked revolted and it was Sirius' turn to smirk.

Reaching for his wand to dry himself he noticed it gone. "My wand!" He cried, leaping up.

James looked startled.

Lily glanced up. "It's right there, in your pants, though it looks a bit small. You sure you didn't accidentally snap off the end?"

Sirius sniffed as James sniggered.

Lily sighed and closed her magazine. "Now, why did you come here?"

James sobered up. "I already asked you. Are you fine in Slytherin?"

"Yes. Is that all? Because I have a date with the Slytherin table."

"Didn't know you were in on orgies, am I invited?" Sirius put it.

Both James and Lily glared at him.

"No, that's not all." James said.

"James, let's go, she obviously doesn't care."

"Care about what?" Lily asked, annoyed.

"About what people say about you. About what your so-called _friends_ call you behind your back." James said.

"Look Potter, I don't care. It doesn't matter." She said firmly, letting no sign of her interest show.

"You don't care that even though you're an amazing student, aren't mean, and are possibly better at Quidditch than the rest of your house, they still call you mudblood?" James asked quietly.

Lily looked at him carefully, almost detecting a flicker of compassion, but it soon disappeared.

"It's a nickname." She shrugged.

Sirius snorted. "Nicknames are endearing terms, not harassing terms."

"So what would you call 'Snivellous'?"

"A name." Sirius replied promptly.

Lily closed her eyes. When she opened them, she looked at James. "Look Potter, I'm fine, it's a nickname, I don't care what they say. Black," She turned to Sirius. "Just because you don't have a nickname, doesn't mean they're outlawed."

She stood up, leaving the little alcove.

"They're not saying it with much endearment, Evans!" Potter called after her.

-- The Indomitable Duo --

Sirius turned to his mate. "Reckon that went well." He sighed. "Why do you care about her anyway?"

James sighed. "I keep getting this feeling she shouldn't be in Slytherin. She should be in Gryffindor. Something bad's gonna happen to her and she doesn't have any support."

Sirius snorted. "Whatever mate, I still don't have my wand."

James glanced around before spotting it. "There it is."

"Where?"

"On her chair."

"The little vixen!" He exclaimed, moving to pick it up.

"Must've gotten it when she was on top of you." James smirked. "Didn't seem to mind her so much then."

Sirius faced his mate after drying himself. "Just think about it this way. Take Maggie Lucas, and multiply her by ten."

James' eyebrows shot up. "That good? From a kiss?"

Sirius' eyes turned glassy. "What I wouldn't give to squeeze that arse."

James rolled his eyes. "Do you think of nothing else?"

"Nope." Sirius said happily as they exited the library.

-- Lily --

She walked through the halls, not quite believing she had just talked to Potter and Black. Oh God, Black…

Lily groaned and stopped walking, sliding down to sit on the ground.

She had come on to Black. What the hell was she thinking?

Lily groaned again.

Then what Potter had said. It was true. It was true and she just kept trying to ignore it.

"Damn him." She muttered, feeling her true feelings surfacing: loneliness, hurt, and disgust at her actions. She rested her head against the wall.

It _did_ hurt that she was still called 'mudblood.' Even the first and second years said it. And here she was, conjuring up birds and food while they could barely hold their wands!

Lily waited until she heard the faint roar of students emptying into the Great Hall before she stood slowly and walked back to the library. She had a bit of research and magic to do before summer break.


	4. Time For A Change

Note: I know this story is kinda out there, but just consider all those other _completely_ crazy ones, and please don't bother to flame. I'm too tired to deal with haters right now.

Chapter 4: Time For A Change

Lily wandered the rows of books. She considered the different ways to go about her task. There was magic (transfiguration or charms) or there were potions.

Considering her strengths, she went to the Potions section, flashing her permanent pass at Pince.

Whistling softly, she ran a finger along the advanced potions books.

Finally she picked three promising books out. Just as she was leaving she spotted a gold painted book, covered in blue and green swirls. Grabbing it out of curiosity she left the section.

Sitting down at the table, she first went through the first three books. When she tiredly glanced at the clock she was surprised to find that it was already 9:55pm, the library would be closing in five minutes.

Picking up the four books, she returned the first three, useless, books to their proper shelves, and then took the last one, the gold with blue and green, to the check out desk.

Madam Pince glared suspiciously at Lily as she stamped the date card before handing the book over.

Lily walked from the library already flipping through the book.

She growled to herself. There was no table of contents. There was no index. There was no order. There were just potions on top of potions on top of potions. She checked the last one, the first one, before finally consigning herself to reading the whole damn thing.

Just before she looked up she rounded a corner and crashed into a tall body.

Looking up, Lily saw the shape of a man…with a long silver beard…with twinkling blue eyes slightly obscured by half-moon glasses…

"Miss Evans, you might want to try standing up."

Lily blushed and scrambled to her feet.

"And your book?" He smiled. "I rather think Madam Pince might have a heart attack if she saw her book on the floor."

Lily blushed even darker and bent down the pick up the book.

When she stood up she noticed him eyeing her book oddly.

"Interested in advanced potions, Miss Evans?"

Lily panicked, but at the same time felt her calm demeanor flow back into her. "Yes sir, I've already read the sixth year potions book, borrowed it from Severus, and I was interested in further knowledge." She smiled, she really _had_ already read the sixth year potions book, and found that she had already done half those potions in her spare time. "Plus, who could ignore a cover like this?" She held up the book.

Dumbledore smiled and nodded, but Lily could she a calculating look in his eye. "Of course, of course…" He trailed off, staring at the book.

"Miss Evans." Lily nearly jumped in shock when Dumbledore woke her from her daydream.

"How are you finding classes?"

Lily blinked. "Ummm…fine, I guess." She looked confused.

"Do you think you would be able to skip the sixth year curriculum and dive into seventh?"

"Why?" She asked slowly.

"Oh, just suppose…would you be able to do it?"

"I suppose then…yeah…I would want to read the sixth year material though, probably practice the spells and potions on my own…what is this all about?"

Dumbledore's eyes were purely twinkling right then. "Just a passing thought. If you have any needs or concerns do not hesitate to come to my office for help."

"Okay."

"Good. Now, if you'll excuse me, I must go find a working lavatory."

Lily stared as the headmaster swept around the corner.

"Crazy old coot." She muttered under her breath.

Just as she turned to leave, he reappeared. "Miss Evans. I was not aware tonight was your night to patrol."

Lily stammered as Dumbledore disappeared down the corridor again.

Once she got back to her dorm she began flipping through the book. The next day was Sunday, so it didn't matter how late she slept.

Finally, after three hours and many, many, many potions, Lily spotted it.

The page was old and weathered, and the script was nearly illegible.

Looking through the instructions she found it took five days to make and had to sit one day in a cold room.

She smirked. Just enough time to make before break.

Some of the ingredients would be hard to find, no doubt she would need to raid Slughorn's personal supplies, though she could probably just charm him into handing them over.

The preliminary text was too faded to read, but from past experience Lily wasn't too troubled with not knowing what was in it. The instructions were very difficult to read (as if the words before weren't hard enough to understand) and Lily gave up. She glanced over the list of ingredients. Taking out her wand, she duplicated the page of instructions and shut the book.

She would begin tomorrow.

--

When Lily woke it was just past eleven o'clock.

Yawning wide she hopped out of bed and slipped into the bathroom for a speed shower. (Only two things could really wake Lily up: showers and Quidditch.)

She was out in ten minutes, letting her hair hang wet, preferring to let it air dry.

Picking up the potions book as well as the copied sheet, she stuck her wand in her back pocket before leaving her dorm.

Walking through the common room the only people who weren't in a vegetative state were a few seventh years, staring at the castle they would soon be leaving.

Lily waved hello to the couple that acknowledged her, before leaving the common room and walking through the chilly dungeons towards the Main Staircase.

Thankfully she did not encounter anyone along the way, because she was deep in thought about the potion she had found. Yes, it was what she had been looking for, but was it still what she wanted? She didn't know.

Upon reaching the library Lily handed the book over to Madam Pince before backing out and walking towards the Potions Master Horace Slughorn's ample room.

"Uh, hello? Professor Slughorn? It's Lily!" She called, knocking on his door.

She heard a ruffling of papers inside. "Come in! Come in, my dear!"

Lily opened the door to see the portly professor gathering up a pile of papers, no doubt some students' last essays of the year.

"What can I do for you, Miss Evans?" He asked as Lily closed the door behind her.

"Uh, I'm making this potion, and there are a couple ingredients that aren't in the student cabinets." _Yeah right, the only normal thing required in this potion is the cauldron._ "And I was wondering if it would be okay to borrow a couple things from you." She tried to keep her face blank. There was no way she could tell him what the potion was. She just hoped he liked her enough.

"Oh?" He asked excitedly. "What potion are you making?"

Lily panicked. "Uh…the name was worn away…I asked Dumbledore about it and he said he thought it would be interesting to try." Well, he didn't ask for her to hand the book over, and he undoubtedly knew the book by his look at it, so it wasn't a _total_ fib.

Slughorn looked disappointed at the lack of details but stood up anyway. "Alright, let me open it up for you then."

He waddled slightly as he walked over to the cabinet. Blocking Lily's view he muttered something and Lily heard a click as the door popped open.

"I assume you know what you need?" He asked, as if she might tell him.

Which she did not. "Yes sir." She walked into the cabinet, carefully shielding the piece of parchment from Slughorn's interested gaze. Taking out her potions bag, she grabbed the ingredients before putting the paper away and closing her bag.

"Thank you very much professor." She smiled happily as she left the tiny room and Slughorn closed the door behind her.

"You're welcome Miss Evans. I hope you come and find me when the potion is done. I want to know _all_ about it."

Lily gave a false smile and hurriedly backed out of the office.

As the door clicked shut she breathed a sigh of relief.

_Okay, now comes the hard part._ Lily found a relatively clean dungeon that was unused to set up shop in. She placed her cauldron on the desk and lit a hot, but not scalding, fire underneath it.

Glancing through the instructions once more she laid out the ingredients and her tools in an orderly way.

Taking a calming breath she picked up her knife and began painstakingly shredding the menthes root. When she finished she took up her mortar and pestle and ground the dried manticore claw. Being careful to keep all of the dust in the mortar she tapped the pestle to knock any residue dust off.

Measuring out ten drops of phoenix tears, Lily poured them in the warm cauldron. She mixed them in with the three cups of milk. Cow's milk. Lily wasn't quite sure what that was doing in the potion, but she just followed the instructions.

When the milk had turned a silvery color she dumped the menthes root and manticore claw setting a ladle to stir while she prepared the next ingredients.

--

The entire process of putting the potion together took about two hours.

Charming the fire to a low temperature Lily left the room, putting a complex locking charm on the door to ensure the potion's safety. Not that anyone regularly went through the unused dungeons.

Walking back to her dorm, Lily yawned widely. The stress of finding the right potion, the nervousness of just getting the ingredients and then the pressure of not screwing up the procedure had finally caught up with her.

Lily was ready to sleep.

--

The next five days passed quietly. On the fifth day Lily checked on the potion and turned off the flame. It was a sickly green color, and Lily hoped it changed color before she had to drink it. But, it was the correct color according to the directions. They also said the final potion was a bluish-purple color. They didn't mention the taste, but if Lily was any judge of potions, this one would taste nasty.

The last day was spent nervously packing clothes. The feast was the next day and the train would leave the day after.

Lily's anxiety was antagonized by Regulus' continuous advances. He just didn't get that Lily _didn't_ like him like that. Merlin, she snogged his brother and she had only spent a few minutes with him compared to the five _years_ she spent dealing with Regulus.

To blow off some steam the morning of, Lily took her Shooting Star out to the Pitch. It was still early morning and the slightly dewy grass stuck to her shoes.

Kicking off, Lily felt the broom wake up from its lazy sleep and soar into the sky.

Going straight up, Lily stopped when she looked down and saw only a galleon-sized pitch below her.

Angling the broom into a steep dive, she almost fell to the ground. As she fell, her speed increased, until it was almost impossible just to keep a grip on the broom.

The closer she got, the more she wanted to pull out, but she wasn't going to. She was going to see it through to the end, no matter how hard it would be to do so.

She was going to finish what she started.

When she got to the thirty-foot marker, she began pulling with all her strength, _willing_ the broom to turn up.

It fought her for a moment, but gave way, pulling her out of her would-be pancake course and letting her spiral off lazily.

--

"She must be mad." Someone whispered.

James Potter agreed. No one pulled off stunts like that and lived to tell the tale. At least not Slytherin schoolgirls who rarely spent time on a broom.

Well, rarely, compared to pro stunt artists.

A group of Gryffindors had come out on this last day of school to play a bit of Quidditch. A kind of house party.

Sirius leaned over to James. "Kind of attractive, huh? Into the whole thrill scene. Think I could bag her?"

James snorted and walked forward.

--

Sensing stares, Lily looked down. What looked like half the Gryffindor tower was out on the pitch with their own or school brooms over their shoulders. At the head of the pack were a couple 7th years Lily remembered seeing around, and Potter and Black.

Scowling, she landed.

"Morning Evans. Nice trick. Ever climax that high?" Black smirked.

A couple Gryffindors sniggered.

Lily raised an eyebrow. "You mean you haven't?"

"Ooooo."

That came from Potter. And only Potter, though a few other older students smiled a bit at her comment.

Black scowled. "I don't have time to deal with you Evans. We have the Pitch. Scat."

"That's not what you said last week, dear." Lily smirked again. "In the library."

Potter nearly burst out laughing, but he contained himself…

After Black elbowed him in the ribs and knocked him over.

Then he was too busy trying to catch his breath to laugh.

When it became evident that Black wasn't going to respond Lily rolled her eyes and began walking off the field. "There go my expectations of at least having a competent enemy." She brushed past Sirius, but he didn't follow her. He stared resolutely ahead of him, towards the Pitch.

But many others watched as the only person to defy the Marauders made her exit.

--

Thoroughly drained of energy, Lily could hardly make it to the dungeon where her potion was stored. According to the last few words in the procedure, it would take at least three hours for it to come into effect, hence Lily had brought along a book she had been meaning to read for a while now.

Walking into the room she made herself comfortable. She transfigured one of the old wooden chairs to a plush recliner.

Taking a vial she had laid out, she poured in one serving of the potion. There was barely enough to top it off, but finally she was ready.

Taking a good look around to make sure everything was in place, Lily turned back to the vial.

She lifted it to her lips and downed the potion in one shot.

She barely recognized the sweet taste before she blacked out, falling unconscious to the dungeon floor.

--

Note: Of course the potion would be ready with perfect timing for the end of the year, how else would my plot continue? I have to live up to my title of "Fanfic author: Creator of terrible cliches and painful coincidences".

Review!


	5. Lily, Meet Darek

Chapter 5: Lily, Meet Darek

Lily groaned as she came to. _I guess that recliner didn't really do any good since I didn't actually get to lie on it!_ She thought huffily to herself.

Her body was sore and she had small bruises from where she had fallen on the ground.

Wincing, she pushed herself up to her feet.

Then she caught sight of herself in the mirror she had hung up during the potion making.

Her legs gave out and she added a few new bruises to her older ones.

Groaning again, Lily crawled over to the recliner and lay down. It was going to take a while to adjust to this.

Tiredly, she closed her blue eyes and fell asleep. This time, to real sleep.

--

When she woke up again, she was still sore, but the pain had lessened. The sleep on the plush recliner also helped.

Standing up slowly and glanced down.

_It's not a dream. It's real. Merlin…this didn't happen._

Her clothes were ripped and barely hanging on. Her wand was lying on the ground where she had fallen unconscious.

Picking it up she waved it at herself, mending and altering the clothes to fit her form.

Running a hand through her hair, she ran into a tangle.

_Well, I suppose this might as well go…I'd fit in better._

Sighting, she sheared her hair off to a chin-length.

Squeezing her eyes shut once again she turned to look at the mirror once again.

_I did it. I really did. Oh Merlin._

Glancing around the room she transformed the chair back to its original appearance and gathered up her potions supplies.

After she erased all evidence of her short residence, she grabbed her cauldron, and snuck out of the dungeon, walking as silently as possible down the corridor back towards her common room.

Halfway there she heard the bell signaling the start of the feast.

_I wouldn't be able to go like this anyway._ Lily thought to herself. But it didn't matter. The fact that no one was in the dorm was pure luck. And she intended to take advantage of it.

Once she got to the common room she breathed a sigh of relief. "Almost made it." She muttered to herself.

Confidently, she walked over to her stairs and began treading up them.

That's where she hit a bump in her plans.

"_EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKK!"_ The stairs wailed as they became a ramp, letting her slide down to the bottom.

Lily stared at the stairs confounded. "What?!" She yelled shocked.

"This potion really did its job." She started talking to herself as she walked back and forth in front of the stairs.

After ten minutes of thought Lily was near giving up. "Merlin. Why can't I just fly? Why do we have to have walking barr…i…ers…" She trailed off as an idea came to her.

Brilliant. Unbelievably brilliant and completely simple-minded.

"_Accio Shooting Star!_" Lily heard her broom zoom through the door and come down the stairs. Hopping on, she flew up the spiraling staircase to her dorm room.

Lowering her broom slightly, she pushed open her door and hopped down inside.

She stood still for a minute, waiting for the castle to reject her, but nothing happened, and Lily breathed a sigh of relief.

Hurrying over to her bed, she began packing her trunk. She waved her wand at her clothes, ordering them to pack.

Checking under her bed and in the dresser she made sure everything was packed. Her books flew into the trunk and she went to gather all of her toiletries.

Making one last check through her territory, and then a casting a cursory glance over her roommates' areas (in case they had borrowed anything), she shrunk her trunk and stuck it in the large robe's pocket.

Picking up her broom, she flew down the staircase, only dismounting to leave the common room. Once in the halls, she hopped back on the broom and flew, rather recklessly, to the Headmaster's office. Stopping outside the gargoyle, Lily dismounted before staring at the stone statue.

_Password…password…dammit, what's the password…come on, the prefect's end-of-the-year meeting was just last week. What was I doing? Oh yeah…catching up on sleep…hmmm, wasn't there something about ice mice?_

"Uh, ice mice?" Lily said awkwardly, still getting used to the new sound emitting from her throat.

Thankfully the gargoyle leapt to the side and Lily hopped on the ever-revolving (or so she supposed, how could anyone know what it was doing when no one was there?) staircase.

When she reached the top she hopped off and knocked on the door.

Hearing no noise she decided to wait there for a few minutes.

After about five minutes of puzzling over the staircase she suddenly remembered why she was able to get that far. They were at the feast. Sighing Lily stood up and knocked on the door once more.

After she did that she wondered if she wasn't losing her mind. She knew he wasn't there and yet she still knocked on the door.

Surprisingly, the door popped open slightly.

Lily nearly jumped off the landing in shock, but regained herself, carefully inching forwards, her broom held before her in defense.

Suddenly she leapt forward and shoved the door open, expecting to see…well, she wasn't quite sure…maybe an attacking army of something…Lily wasn't feeling too well by this point.

Almost tripping herself up, she stumbled her way to a chair in front of the mahogany desk. After she regained her balance and vision (she had been seeing triple), Lily glanced up.

She almost fell back in shock.

There was Fawkes, sitting directly in front of her, observing her carefully.

"Um…hello Fawkes." Lily said intelligently.

Sighing she leaned back in the comfortable chair.

"Fawkes…I need to speak to Dumbledore…I think it's pretty obvious why." She gestured at her body, wincing at the thought of it.

Fawkes didn't say a word.

Lily laughed. "I don't know why I'm bothering to tell you this…you can't understand me…damn it! Where's bloody Dumbledore when you needy him!"

She would've thrown her chair at something…but she was too worn out to care.

Fawkes gave her another look before nodding, (_nodding?_), and disappearing in a flash of flame.

Lily blinked. "Guess I'm not that great company right now." She sighed to herself.

A minute later there was a bright flash of light and Fawkes reappeared.

Lily blinked again. "Huh…pretty useful aren't you? I wish I could do that." She said tiredly, massaging her temples.

Not five minutes later Lily heard noises close by. They seemed to be coming from the staircase.

Hopping up nervously, she began looking around for a hiding place. She wanted to see Dumbledore, not some troublesome students.

She tried tucking herself in between the wall and a bookcase, but she didn't quite fit. Desperately she tried to pull her self out to get to a better spot.

She heard the door creaking open and she franticly dove behind the window curtains.

"Miss Evans, I assume you came to talk to be, and not to spy?"

Lily sighed dejectedly, stepping out and preparing to face the storm.

Glancing around, she noticed Dumbledore was the only one in the office and that the door was closed.

In the minute it took to realize this, Dumbledore processed her new look. Well, maybe he didn't but he schooled his face to a very controlled look.

"What happened to those voices I heard?" She wondered.

Dumbledore almost (almost, but not quite) jumped at the new voice. He raised an eyebrow at the voice and the question.

"It seems that there was a sibling rivalry that came to head in the middle of the feast. I believe it has something to do with you…in your other form."

Lily looked confused.

"The Blacks." Dumbledore elaborated.

Lily's confused expression didn't change for a minute and then she realized what probably had happened and winced.

"Oh."

"But it seems you have a more immediate problem."

"Oh yeah." Lily glanced down. "I found an interesting potion, and…uh…I tried it out and this is what happened?" She finished off weakly, hoping that he wouldn't ask for more.

Dumbledore watched her with a raised eyebrow. Thankfully though, he didn't ask for more.

He just stared.

And stared.

After about seven and a half minutes of silence (she watched the clock) Lily twitched.

Dumbledore stared at her.

There was a snapping sound and all of a sudden the chair on which Lily had been sitting broke, the legs breaking in two.

Lily looked up dazed, what was that all about?

"Um, Headmaster?" She said to the immobile wizard.

All was quiet as Lily gathered her wits and slowly got up, checking for splinters. Thankfully, there were none.

Now standing in front of the silent professor Lily glared.

"I suppose you'll need a different name." The sentence sounded like a question that was actually a statement.

Lily, taken aback by his sudden words, started. "I, uh, s'pose so Headmaster."

"I am assuming you will wish to return?"

"Return?" All of a sudden Dumbledore had gotten down to business.

"To Hogwarts. Of course you will. That leaves us to figure out why Miss Evans left and why you came."

He gave her a beady-eyed look.

"Well, I was thinking that Lily could go home because her father had cancer…and because the threat of Voldemort was too great…" She said quickly, mumbling a bit.

Dumbledore looked at her in satisfaction. Whether it was because her story was a good story, or because she said the name 'Voldemort', Lily didn't know. "And your story?"

"I was home-schooled by my mum and she died because she was protecting a kid from Death Eaters. My dad can't deal with me and sent me off for further schooling." She continued, gaining confidence.

Dumbledore nodded and was silent.

Lily fell silent as well, letting the old man think the problem through.

"What will you do this summer?"

"Acclimate myself I suppose. My dad will help me." _I hope._

"Mmmm." He nodded again. "We have quite a large fifth year class this year…and this would be a good time to see if you can handle skipping a year, hmmm?"

"I…uh…huh?" Lily was slightly dumbfounded. She hadn't expected him to _want_ her to skip a year.

"You are an exceptionally bright student Miss Evans, and holding you back will do you no good when you are ready to move on. I am correct in saying that you spent most of this year reading ahead?"

"Uh…"

"Yes, your professors seemed to be surprised by your intuition. You pick up material fairly quickly. If you run into problems you can always go back to a sixth year curriculum."

Lily didn't say a word, this being quite a bit to take in.

"Good. Now that that's settled I must see you off. It would do no good to see you on the train tomorrow, then you wouldn't be new next year, would you?" He smiled, eyes twinkling.

Lily was still rather shocked. "Um, of course not Headmaster."

"Good good. I will have your new papers drawn up and filed, and your OWL results will be doubled for your new identity. I'll have Fawkes take you home, with a letter of course." He pulled out a piece of parchment and an expensive ostrich feather quill.

The office was silent for the next couple minutes as Dumbledore wrote who knows what in the letter. Lily wasn't quite sure how you could explain anything of this manner. Especially to your parents.

Dumbledore stopped writing and dried the ink, rolling the letter up and tying it with a ribbon.

Handing it to Lily he looked into her eyes. "May I ask you a question Miss Evans?"

Lily gulped and nodded.

"Why did you do this?"

Lily looked into the old wizard's eyes and responded as truthfully as possible. "Quidditch."

Dumbledore smiled, an odd glint gracing his eyes. "Ah yes, the lengths people go to over sports." His smile looked uncannily like a smirk for some reason.

"Oh, and what shall we call you?"

Lily opened her mouth, and nearly fell over by a new weight on her broad shoulders.

Fawkes had landed, and was giving Lily what looked to be a warning look.

Lily glanced back at the smiling Headmaster. "Trueblood, Darek Trueblood."

And so the medium height, red haired, blue-eyed boy left Hogwarts in a flash of bright light.

_Note: Hah! Lily's a guy! Okay, there's a short explanation to go along with this transformation…which I shall mention in the first Note next chapter. For now, please_

_Review!_


	6. A Little Bit Different

_Note: So I'm here to explain what went on last chapter. Basically, Lily found a potion to turn her into a guy. Why? The first and foremost reason was because she wanted to play Quidditch. And the Slytherin team didn't allow girls to play. (Sports are a way of life.) Secondarily, like our dearest James Potter pointed out, she wasn't getting any respect. She wants to change that and she's got a goofy idea that being a guy will help her out, since guys are seen as stronger than girls…at least in the pureblooded Slytherin world she dealt with. In this chapter we will get a glance at the few major changes to how Lily -Derek- has to deal with the world over the summer and hopefully will begin her new year. And yes, I intentionately made his eyes blue. Emerald green eyes are pretty distinctive and to keep them would have been a pretty obvious. Oh, and for future reference__: Darek, shortened: Rek, hence the nickname Rex._

Chapter 6: Say Hello to Your New Son

When Darek appeared in front of his home at number 4 Privet Drive, the neighborhood was silent. It was ten o'clock and the street lights were dim to prevent sleep loss.

Darek…Lily…was confused about her-his new status. Sighing he reached out to knock on the door. Before he could Fawkes flamed away. The sudden bright light so close to his eyes left him blinking to clear the stars.

Once he regained his sight, Darek knocked on the front door. From experience he was aware that the Evans family would be watching their nightly news in the front room.

Knocking the door again he heard a call from within. "Just a minute! I'm coming!"

Darek tried to calm. He was about to see his parents…except that he wasn't a girl anymore…which was really weird…and not really physically possible…except that he no longer had a chest and now had a lower appendage…ok…that was just weird.

Mr. Evans opened his door to see a medium sized boy with his own flaming red hair holding a letter addressed to him.

"Um…I know this will sound strange…but, dad? I'm Lily Evans."

Mr. Evans stared at the boy. He must be cracked.

Darek watched his father nervously.

Then Mr. Evans began to laugh. Hysterically.

"Dad? Dad! Are you alright?"

Mr. Evans waved him off. "That's quite alright my boy. It's over now. The joke's been had. You can go home now. By the way, are you new around here? I haven't seen you around, and with your hair I'm sure I'd remember."

Darek stared at his father. "Dad, I'm not joking."

Mr. Evans' smile dropped slightly. "That's quite enough boy. I understand pranks. I was part of quite a few of them back in my day. But when it's over, it's over."

"But Dad! If you don't believe me, believe Dumbledore for Merlin's sake. I'm not lying. I drank a potion and it changed me. Merlin, how do I explain myself? I wanted to play Quidditch! You remember? The soccer-like game in the air? And Slytherin won't let me play!" Darek was pleading, holding the letter out to his father.

Mr. Evans' stared at the boy. No one knew about Hogwarts. Not in this neighborhood. He would have known.

He reached out and grabbed the envelope, sure that whatever the prank was it would be over soon…once he read this letter.

By the time he read the letter Mr. Evans was in need of a big, squishy chair and a glass of whiskey.

Taking a look back up at Darek he motioned his- son?- in.

When they entered the living room with the TV, Petunia and Mrs. Evans didn't even glance around. "Who was it dear?"

"Petunia, can you get me a glass of whiskey?" Mr. Evans asked.

They both turned around at that. Mr. Evans only drank whiskey at important celebrations and when he was extremely unsettled. We can guess which category this event fell under.

Petunia hopped up, giving a strange look at Darek.

Mrs. Evans looked between the two males. "Dave?"

Mr. David Evans handed the letter over to his wife and fell back into his usual chair, accepting the whiskey that Petunia brought.

Darek's mother gasped when she got to _that_ part of the letter. "Oh my God." She breathed, sitting back against the couch.

"What?" Petunia said, annoyed she was left out of whatever was going on.

"Petunia…" Dave began.

"I'm Lily." Darek broke in.

Petunia stared at him. Then she glanced back at her parents' faces. With a huff she spoke. "I always said that was a freak school. See! See what happened! If Lily hadn't gone to that freak magic school she never would've ended up a guy!" Petunia's voice steadily rose until Mrs. Evans cut her off.

"That's no way to speak to your sister Petunia! Even if…"

"Sarah." Dave interrupted his wife's sentence. He glanced at his new son. "Well son…I suppose…well I guess you have a lot to learn." He glanced back at the letter. "Darek."

Darek gave a small smile to his father before turning and going upstairs. It was obvious that right now, the family didn't need him downstairs.

When he got to his room he sighed. He…she…was a _guy_. Male. And it wasn't polyjuice. He wasn't going back to being Lily any time soon. Darek sat down on his mother's old flowery bedspread and cried.

Except, he couldn't cry. No matter how much he wanted to, or felt like it, the change was because of him. He knew what was going to happen, and it happened. Nothing was going to change that, least of all crying on a bed that creaked with age.

Lying down Darek promised himself to handle everything as rationally as possible with as little amount of stress as possible.

Yeah right.

--

When Darek opened his eyes it was morning. The sun was shining through the opened curtains and warming his body.

Groaning he got up and made his way to the bathroom. Opening his eyes he saw a male face.

_It wasn't a dream. It's true. Oh Merlin. Damn…I need to use the bathroom…take a shower…_

Darek winced. This was going to be awkward…

--

Thirty minutes later a thoroughly embarrassed and weirded-out fifteen year old walked out of the shower with a towel wrapped around his waist (not having to worry about covering up his chest…that felt strange too…the openness). Looking around the room he realized all the clothes were girl's clothes.

Sighing tiredly, Darek walked into the hall, only to be confronted with Petunia.

She stared at him and then shrieked.

Dave and Sarah rushed out of their rooms to see a half naked young man and their daughter in the hall. Oh yeah, that young man was their…son?

Dave sighed and spoke to Petunia first. "Calm down, Pet. It's Lily remember? Or Darek now." He glanced ruefully at his son.

Darek gave a wry half-smile of recognition.

"Just go downstairs and have some cereal. Your mum should be down soon."

Sarah had gone back in to the master bedroom to finish dressing.

Petunia glared at Darek and moved past him, careful not to touch the naked skin.

Dave shook his head. "I suppose you'll need some new clothes?"

"Yeah. Can't image what people would say if I walked outside with a tank top and short shorts."

Dave chuckled at the image. "You look like you're a bit bigger. You should be able to fit in my clothes till we go out shopping. Maybe we'll get around to it later today."

Darek nodded and walked over to their room. Sarah walked out and the two males walked in.

"Alright…I suppose you need…everything." Dave felt that if he had to pick the most awkward experience he had ever had, this would be it. And there could be nothing else more awkward…unless he still had to give the talk. He knew Sarah had given it from a girl's point of view, but…

Shaking his head he walked over to the dresser. Pulling out the needed attire, he handed it to his son and turned around so he wasn't facing Darek.

"Go ahead and change."

Darek flushed and did as he was told.

"Done."

Dave turned around and almost laughed, but he contained himself, only letting a small grin show his amusement. "You might need a belt, kiddo."

Darek blushed again and took the offered strip of leather, lacing it through the belt loops and tightening it considerably.

"Your feet look about my size…here an old pair of flip flops- those should work for now.

Darek took them before turning around.

At the door he paused and turned back.

"Hey Dad?"

"Yeah Darek?"

"Thanks."

Dave watched his new son walk out of his room in slightly too large shorts and a long shirt, proud that his child could handle whatever life threw at him. Her. It.

--

Later that day, in the afternoon, Dave came home early from work, claiming to need some family time.

He and Darek went out in the old family car (I'm not sure what kind of car was around in the 70s in England, so use your imagination, it's not a super fancy car. Just a means of transportation) to the mall thirty minutes away.

The first thing Dave did was to take his son to the barber shop. "I don't know who cut your hair son, but they did a pretty bad job of it."

Darek laughed. "I cut it, yesterday. I admit, I had a couple other things on my mind at the time."

Dave didn't respond as he walked into the shop.

"Joe!"

"Dave, my man! What can I do for you?"

"My uh, Darek here needs a proper hair cut. Nice and short, but not buzz. He's not going into the military any time soon." Dave said with a grin.

Joe sat Darek down in an empty chair and put an apron around him.

"How's the wife then?" He asked Dave, who had sat in a waiting chair across from Darek.

"Good good, and yours?"

"Yapping about something again, not really sure what it is this time." He chuckled and combed Darek's hair out.

Dave laughed lightly at Joe's comment before picking up the latest football (a.k.a. soccer) magazine and started flipping through the latest stats.

Joe worked silently as he cut Darek's chin-length hair.

Ten minutes later he was done and Darek's hair was an even two inches (5cm) all around.

"There you go boy. Take care of yourself Dave!" He said as he took the apron off and collected the cash from Dave.

"Thanks Joe." Dave said, smiling. "Okay Darek, let's see what we can get you for clothes."

--

After a long hour of shopping, Darek was stocked up in pants, shorts, shirts, socks, two pairs of swim trunks and a pair of converses as well as his own flip flops.

Dave sighed as he sat in the car with Darek, moving quickly along the highway.

They were listening to the Stones on the local pop channel, the back windows open slightly to let in the still-warm air.

"So you ready for our trip?" Dave asked.

"Huh?" Darek turned to his father, pulled out of his daze.

"Remember? The one we've been planning since last year?" Dave smiled. "The one to Mandelieu-La Napoule, Barcelona, and Sicily?"

"Oh yeah. Sure. I'm ready." He said somewhat nervously. He had the hair, clothes, and body of a guy. Now he just needed the attitude.

Dave glanced at his son. "You'll be fine. I'm here for you. And so is Sarah and Petunia."

Darek snorted at the last name.

"Now just because Petty's a little awkward now doesn't mean she doesn't love you. You two got along fine before hand and I'm sure she's having just as much trouble adjusting as you are.

"Yeah sure dad. Whatever, it doesn't matter. I'll be fine."

Dave laughed at the uninterested dismissal. He remembered what it was like to be a teenager. A teenage boy though, not a teenage girl-turned-boy.

--

Needless to say, Darek had quite a few interesting moments…like when girls tried to pick him up in the hotel, or at the beach. Then he had to explain he wasn't interested in them, and then a few guys tried to pick him up. That was almost weirder, because although a couple of them were hot and Lily would've gone on dates with them, she was a guy now and she was supposed to act like a guy, right?

As a way to avoid the date offers, he spent time in the gyms at the hotels and also just wandering the streets of the towns.

Then there was the slight issue of when the owls with Lily's O.W.L. results and her booklist arrived, but it was in the early morning, so not many muggles were up to see the strange behavior.

Sarah had read tens of guidebooks about each place, and had made various reservations at some of the renowned restaurants.

Darek had also brought along the spell books for the year that he would be skipping, as well as 7th year. After all, what better time than the summer to get ahead? Of course, the actual magic and potion making would have to wait until Hogwarts to be practiced.

The Evans' also celebrated Darek's 16th birthday, which thankfully was cut short by a thunderstorm. Darek didn't know if he could endure more of Petunia's glaring.

By the time the Evans family returned to Surrey there were only three days before September 1st and the departure of the Hogwarts Express.

--

The day before the Express left, Darek and his father (because remember, his mother's 'dead') went to Diagon Alley to pick up few books that Darek had not already gotten his hands on. most notably, the new DADA Professor's books.

As Darek left Flourish & Blott's he ran into the more arrogant half of the Marauders.

"Hey man, watch where you're going."

Darek brushed off his shoulder in an uncaring manner, blocking them from entering the store. "I could say the same to you."

Sirius goggled at the boy, amazed anyone would stand up to _them_ of all people.

"Cat got your tongue?" Darek smirked at him.

James sized the boy up. Hiding from girls in the gym had definitely given Darek the intimidating edge of pronounced muscles. "Hey man, we're not looking for a fight…" He trailed off as Darek glanced at him. Both he and Sirius were taller than the boy, but not by much, and neither of them were that strong. (Purebloods generally didn't bother with the whole physical fitness, and flying on a broom doesn't give much of a workout.)

Curiousity finally woke Sirius up. "We haven't seen you around. Where do you go?"

Darek glanced at him, and figured he might as well start the story now. "I'm starting at Hogwarts tomorrow. I've been home-schooled. Voldemort just got my mom though and my dad's sending me off."

The two Marauders gaped at his nonchalance.

Darek shrugged at their disbelieving looks. "It happens to the best of us. My mum always told me to look on the bright side of life."

James shook his head, this was one different kid. "What year are you?"

"Seventh."

"Cool, we're gonna be seventh years as well." Sirius said.

"Sounds good. Well, I gotta go, see you on the train tomorrow?"

"Yeah, sure." James said. "Oh, by the way, I'm James Potter and my mate's Sirius Black."

"Nice meeting you. I'm Darek Trueblood."

"Darek!"

"Over here dad!" Darek called to his father, who was emerging from the magical instruments shop across the street.

"Bye guys, see you tomorrow." He said, slipping past the two slightly confused and dazed Marauders.

"Who were those two boys Darek?"

"Oh, just Potter and Black, the ones I've been telling you about for years." Darek sighed. "Let's go home now."

"Sure thing kiddo." Dave said, ruffling Darek's hair.

"Don't touch me, and stop calling me that." Darek said uncomfortably shaking his head.

Dave laughed as they exited Diagon Alley, eager to get home to Sarah's end of the summer dinner.

--

Does anyone want to explain the similarities and differences between the Ottoman/Mughal uses of Islam in their rule? I'm dying here. Or you could just send me a review…that would probably make me very happy 


	7. The New Boy

_Note: I know, a week, unacceptable, sorry. But this chapter's long to make up for it! If there are any mistakes, I'm sorry, but I'm in a bit of a hurry, concert today and all, so please excuse me._

_Dedication: To my friend who gave me my birthday present a month late: a 48oz bag of Hershey's Kisses. Chocolate!_

Chapter 7: The New Boy

Darek was escorted to Platform 10 by his father. His mother had said goodbye back at the house, and Petunia…Well, Petunia just slammed her door in his face.

"Bye Dad. See you next June." He gave a one armed hug.

Dave raised an eyebrow. "Next June? I didn't know home was so repulsive to you."

Darek blushed slightly. "Well, it wouldn't hurt if Petunia were a little nicer."

Dave shook his head. "She's still adjusting to your abilities. And the switch. In fact, I'm still adjusting to the switch. And that must be nothing like what you're going through." He took a step back to look at his son. "You sure you're okay? You don't have to go to school if you don't want to. I'm sure your mother would be overjoyed to have you stay home."

"And what? Go to high school? I'm barely able to do simple math. What would I do if they put me in algebra? Or some other higher level math course? I can't even do long division!"

Darek said the last sentence loud enough for passersby to stare at them, wondering what on earth was wrong with this teenage boy that he couldn't do _long division_.

Dave noted the glances. "I was just kidding kiddo. I know you'll be fine."

"Just stop dad." Darek said rolling his eyes. "I'll be fine. Owl you later!" He said, pushing his trolley through the brick wall.

Dave shook his head and turned away, returning to the family car.

--

As Darek walked along the Express, looking for a seat, he attracted many looks. The students were confused about him. They had never seen this flame haired boy before and it was not known that Hogwarts ever accepted older students. Never before had there been a transfer, well, at least not in recent memory.

There was also the undeniable attraction he had. There was a kind of sweet, innocent look to his face, though he looked like he could last a couple fights. Not ripped, but not flabby.

Darek glanced through the compartments. Most were occupied, and the few that had open seats usually contained the kids you want to steer clear of.

He finally found an empty compartment about two-thirds the way down the train. Hefting his trunk up onto the seat he lifted it onto the rack up above. Strapping it in place, he fell onto the seat and pulled out a Quidditch magazine.

After ten minutes of reading about the latest broom, (the BlazingComet400) the train began to move. Darek glanced up as his compartment door flew open.

Four boys tumbled in, laughing hysterically.

"Man, did you see his _face_?" One boy cried.

"_Yeah!_ That's the funniest thing I've seen since you guys got turned to frogs!" A brown haired boy laughed.

Darek let out a snicker; he remembered when he turned Potter and Black into frogs.

They were black with orange and green spots.

They were also the size of kittens.

The four boys glanced around, and started as if noticing Darek for the first time, which they were.

"Hey." Darek said, trying to break the silence. Also trying to ignore the fact that his two greatest enemies were staring at him. And were in the same compartment. And were not hexing him till kingdom come.

"Hey man, how's it going?" Sirius said, sitting across from him.

Remus and Peter looked confused.

"Padfoot, you know this kid?"

"Yeah, he knows him. We met Darek here yesterday at Flourish &Blott's. Gave us a bit of lip." James grinned at Darek.

Darek rolled his eyes. "My name's Darek Trueblood. I'm coming to Hogwarts for my final year."

"Oh." Remus glanced at him. "Well I'm Remus Lupin, and this is Peter Pettigrew."

"Nice to meet you."

"You too."

Silence spread through the compartment as Remus and Peter continued staring at the new boy, undoubtedly waiting for an explanation. Sirius and James sat back and, for all purposes, seemed to fall asleep. Darek waited and smirked to himself as he looked out the window, letting the silence grow more and more tense, waiting to see who would pop first.

It was Peter.

"So why are you coming here all of a sudden?"

"What?" Darek replied as if he wasn't perfectly aware of his surroundings. If Slytherin taught him one thing, it was that you _always_ have to be aware of your surroundings. The Marauders themselves also had inadvertently taught him that. Darek mused to himself that he probably had an internal Marauder radar by now.

"Why are you coming to Hogwarts this year? It's the last one, barely time to get to know anyone."

"My mother died and my father couldn't handle me so he sent me off." Darek said shortly.

Remus and Peter stared at him.

"Oh."

Sirius snorted. "That's what you get for prying Wormtail."

Darek glanced out the window again, hoping that they would not insist on his conversation.

Unfortunately, this was not to be.

"So Darek, I see you've got a Quidditch rag there, you like the game?" James asked nonchalantly, proving that he was not in fact asleep.

Darek almost glowed, his eyes sparkling. "I _love_ it. It's the _best_ game _ever_! But I never get to play."

Sirius and James leaned in excitedly; they had finally found someone with their own enthusiasm for the game.

"What position do you play?" Sirius asked excitedly.

James snorted. "He just said he didn't play dumbass."

Darek nodded. "I just fly around generally, so I practice seeker and beater, as those are the only positions you can really "play" by yourself."

"Hmm." James hummed to himself. "We need a seeker this year. I was planning to switch over and let Whitney play chaser-"

"The backup girl? She's pretty good you know." Sirius interrupted.

James glared at him. "I _know_. Why else would I even think about it?"

"I don't know, 'cause you're dumb?" Sirius smirked.

James hit him over the head.

"But this is only for Gryffindor." Remus broke in. "Have you been sorted yet?"

"Sorted?" Darek replied nervously. He wondered what the hat would have to say when he went up for a second time.

"Right, you could sorted into _any_ of the four houses, possibly even _Slytherin_." Remus shuddered.

Darek almost growled at Remus' obvious dislike for his house, but held it in. He was a new man. The Marauders didn't know him. It wouldn't do him any good to be found out before school even started.

James pouted. "Way to go for bringing down the mood Moony."

Remus sighed. "I'm sure you'll get over it, Prongs. You always seem to be able to just keep bounding along."

Sirius whined pathetically.

"You too Padfoot."

Remus glanced at Darek's confused expression. "You'll get used to it. Trust me, I did."

"Uh-huh." Darek said skeptically. "Can these morons do anything besides act stupid?"

Remus smirked and Peter giggled. "Nope, not much."

Sirius and James protested. "Hey! We're not dumb!"

"I'll have you know that Padfoot and I are two of the top three students in school!"

"Right after a sixth year." Remus added, chuckling.

James frowned. "It's not our fault Evans is such a smartass. She's just a Slytherin freak."

Darek was extremely close to wringing James' neck, but his plans were interrupted by the compartment door sliding open.

A brunette girl stuck her head in. "Potter? Remus? Aren't you forgetting something?"

"What?" James said, leaning back and ruffling his hair, giving the girl a coy smile. "Did we have a date for the luggage compartment?"

The girl rolled her eyes. "Come on Potter, you couldn't pick me up for the last six years, did you think this year would be different?"

James opened his mouth, but was cut off by Remus. "Oh Merlin. The Prefect meeting."

The girl nodded. "We've only postponed it for the twenty minutes. But you better get your asses in gear, the Slytherins are about to murder our fifth years." And with that she walked out.

Remus sighed, standing up. "Come on Prongs, you were supposed to remember this. You're Head Boy now! Try and be a _little _bit responsible." He complained, pinning his badge on his robe.

James stood as well, taking the Head Boy badge from his pocket and polishing it before attaching it to his own robe. "I didn't _want_ to be Head Boy. I think Dumbledore must've cracked to let me get any position of authority. He's probably only doing it so that I can 'straighten out'". He snorted. "As if I'll let something like this pass up. Now I'm _supposed_ to be out after hours!" He grinned and Sirius smirked back at him.

"Yeah, yeah, and right now you're _supposed_ to be at the prefect meeting, _leading_ it." Remus held the door open. "Are you coming, your majesty?"

James held his head high. "Yes, my loyal servant. Come along now, we're late."

"I wonder _why_ we're so late." Remus muttered under his breath, as Darek snickered at his annoyed face as he let the door slam shut.

Without James and Remus in the compartment, Sirius and Peter seemed content to lay back and sleep.

Thankful that he didn't have to talk anymore, Darek picked up his forgotten magazine and began reading again.

--

"Anything from the trolley dear?" The old witch called.

Darek started. Glancing out the window he noticed the sky had darkened considerably. Nodding at the old lady, he took out his moneybag. Collecting a large box of Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans and some of Drooble's Best Blowing Gum, he handed over the necessary money.

"Dearie." The old witch said. "You might take a peek in the glass, unless you _want_ to be seen like that." She smiled kindly.

Darek groaned, already knowing what was coming. Sure enough, his hair was charmed to stick out on end in spikes, and each spike was a different rainbow color. His face was also flashing different colors.

"This is why you don't fall asleep in the same compartment as the Marauders." He muttered to himself.

Taking out his wand, he made a complex figure in the air in front of him, leaving golden streaks where his wand had passed. Looking over it carefully he smirked and closed his eyes, walking into it.

It felt like hot sparks against his skin, and then there was a cool clean feeling around his head.

Glancing back at the window he angled himself so he could check the rest of his appearance. His normal red hair and blue eyes stared back at him.

Smirking, he carefully placed charms around the door that he could activate with a whispered word.

Laying back he began the arduous task of sorting through the good and the bad jelly beans.

As he neared the bottom of the box he heard familiar voices outside the door.

Whispering to himself, he ignored their entrance, continuing to sort.

They came in with ready smirks, only to see an absolutely normal boy ignoring them.

"You might want to work on those charms, mates. They were pretty weak." Darek said, looking up at them innocently.

James and Sirius exchanged baffled looks.

Then Darek smirked. "For instance, I'd like to see you get those off."

Only then did the four Marauders realize that instead of becoming the prankers, they were the prankees.

Each was dressed in a pink leotard and a sequined tutu, their hair was slicked back and lengthened into buns, with bows and ribbons tied in.

Turning murderous eyes back to Darek they realized he wasn't there.

"Hey mates, I'm gonna go have a look around." He said from behind them, a slightly nervous look on his face. Sure he was strong, but that didn't mean he would willingly get into a fight with the Marauders.

With a strangled yell, James leapt towards him and Darek was off in a streak down the hallway.

He ran hurriedly into the next train section and when he couldn't see the Marauders behind him he slipped into a compartment. Closing the door behind him and sighed and turned around.

Seven shocked girls stared back at him.

"Oh." He said weakly. "Hey, I'm Darek. But you never saw me, okay?"

They looked confused. That is, until they heard yelling from down the hall. Half levitating himself up with pure will, he stretched out, so that his hands were on one side of the compartment and feet on the other, suspending him through sheer muscle strength above the door.

The girls stared at him in shock.

The compartment door slammed open. "Where are you Trueblood?!" Sirius screamed. "Undo this hair at once." Taking a chance to glance inside, he saw only giggling girls.

If Sirius had taken the time to look straight above him then, Darek might've been had, but fortunately for him, Sirius was much too distraught to think rationally.

Slamming the door closed he ran on. Darek waited a second, his muscles shaking in the effort to keep him up, before he let go, bringing his legs under him to land with a _thud_.

The girls were still giggling and staring at him. "Uh, thanks…" He mumbled before turning to leave.

"Wait." One girl said. "Who are you?"

"Darek Trueblood."

"I haven't seen you around before."

"You wouldn't…I just got here."

"What year are you?"

"Seventh. Now excuse me girls, but I have to go get my luggage. We're arriving soon." He said, desperately trying to come up with a way out of the compartment.

"Don't worry about it Darek." Another girl said. "We leave the luggage on the train."

Darek blanched, seeing his options for running away running out.

The girls grinned at each other, knowing they had him.

Making a space in the middle on one side they pulled him into it. "We're in seventh year too. Gryffindor and Ravenclaw."

Darek nodded dumbly, realizing he went from the playpen straight to the snake's nest.

--

An hour later Darek stumbled out of the compartment as the train stopped. The girls followed him out, surrounding him and making sure he stayed with the rest of them.

In the carriages he was stuck with three of them.

"So Darek, what do you like to do?" One of the girls, Michelle, asked.

"Quidditch." He responded shortly, trying to stop her from snuggling up close to him.

He quickly gave up, as she was so persistent.

"Umm, hot body, plays quidditch, super strong, pranks the Marauders." She smirked at him. "I like."

"Uh…no. I only play Quidditch." He said nervously, not liking where she was going.

"No need to be so modest. Not everyone can just hang from the ceiling."

"I wasn't hanging from the ceiling!" He protested. "I was pressing against the walls."

"Yeah whatever."

Darek felt the carriage come to a rickety stop and rushed for the door.

Scrambling out he almost fell in the mud, but quickly hopped over it and ran up the front steps.

Just inside was Professor McGonagall. "You will come with me, Mr. Trueblood."

He took a deep breath and followed her.

"And straighten out your uniform, you look you just ran from the forest." Her lips formed a thin line.

_How right you are Professor._ Darek thought, tugging at his shirt. He didn't wear a tie because he didn't know what house he was in yet.

McGonagall led him towards an antechamber, and as she closed the door he glimpsed the strained faces of the Marauders, still in their tutus.

Chuckling to himself, Darek sat down on a bench along the wall.

He listened as the student population filed into the Great Hall, and the entrance hall because silent, until a great pattering of squeaky feet arrived along with the high-pitched chatter of the first years.

He heard them quiet down as McGonagall gave her warning speech and then left to set up the stool and Sorting Hat.

When she came back she opened the antechamber's door and beckoned to Darek. "Mr. Trueblood, you will bring up the rear. And try to make sure _all_ of the first years make it to the front." She cast a disparaging glance at the new students who were already grouped together and glaring at their 'enemies'.

"Yes, Professor."

She led him out of the antechamber before ordering the first years into two lines. Once everyone was presentable she waved her wand and the doors opened majestically to allow for their entrance. And as soon as Darek passed through the doors they slammed shut.

Because he had already seen the hall, he was able to watch the students' faces. Over at the Gryffindor table, the Marauders were glaring at him lightly, though even they couldn't fail to see the entertainment in their predicament.

The Slytherins weren't so much concerned with the new boy, but rather with the disappearance of a certain Miss Lily Evans. When Dumbledore had announced at the end of last year that she left early because of problems at home, they had expected she would return. Regulus especially was worried and concerned.

The rest of the school was muttering about the new boy, the kid who was twice the height of all the other firsties, as well as _obviously_ not being a firstie himself.

Glancing at the upturned faces he winced when he saw the group of girls he had sat with.

They winked and giggled and he looked away, blanching.

As McGonagall called out the names, Darek watched the professors.

Dumbledore watched the sorting take place, taking care to clap for each child, even the Slytherins. When Darek looked at him, his eyes crinkled in a smile, blue eyes twinkling madly.

Darek rolled his own eyes at the headmaster's enthusiasm.

Finally it was Darek's turn, and McGonagall called him up.

"We have a new student this year. Through unfortunate circumstances, Mr. Darek Trueblood will be joining us for his last year of schooling. If we may continue Professor…?" Dumbledore introduced Darek, and handed him off to McGonagall.

As she placed the Sorting Hat on his head Darek mentally prepared for the invasion of privacy.

"_Oh-ho! Lookie what we have here! Finally decided Slytherin wasn't the right choice?"_

"_No."_

"_So you want to be in Slytherin again?"_

Darek stayed silent, neither saying yes or no. Unfortunately, the hat didn't need to hear anything, it could look through her mind.

"_So I see Slytherin wasn't all you wanted it to be."_

An image of being taunted when she was still in first year came to the front of her mind.

"_Shut up. This is an invasion of my privacy! I demand you stop sifting through _my_ memories!"_

"_How do you think I place kids in the first place? Just guess?"_

"_Well the job doesn't entail you going through my private memories!"_

"_Nothing's private in here dearie. Oh wait, you had a sex change? Interesting, I knew there was something different about you. Get used to listening, and ignoring, your second brain kiddo."_

Darek could hear the hat snicker.

"_That is disgusting! You're a hat! You don't understand these things! All you are is a ratty piece of centuries old leather!"_

"_You'd be amazed what one can learn from thousands of students minds. And don't forget, I was imbued with the power of the four founders. They weren't complete gentlemen and ladies themselves."_

"_THAT'S IT! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!"_

"_No one's forcing you to put me on you know. It'd be very simple to just take me off."_

Darek could almost feel the smirk in his head. The hat doubted him. Well he would show it!

Darek stood up and threw the hat down on the stool. "I refuse to be sorted by this obscene rag." He faced McGonagall and the rest of the professors.

There was an audible gasp. No one ever took the hat off without being sorted…no one had ever _refused_ to be sorted. It was just unheard of.

McGonagall stiffened. "Mr. Trueblood, here at Hogwarts we do things differently. I would like to remind you that you are to follow _our_ rules now, not your own."

Darek glared back at her. "I have not come to this fine institute of education to be degraded by this hat!"

McGonagall opened her mouth, but was cut off by another voice.

"GRYFFINDOR!" The hat shouted.

The hall sat in shocked silence. Finally Dumbledore began to clap and was immediately followed by the rest of the professors and Gryffindor table. Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff clapped politely and Slytherin sat staring at their empty plates.

Darek began walking towards the Gryffindor table in a slight daze. As he came in front of the stool and the hat, it's brim ripped open again.

"_I always do correct my mistakes."_ It said, quietly enough that only Darek could hear.

Darek didn't even turn his head as he walked down to where the Marauders were seated.

They glared as he sat down.

"Hey mates, you guys are looking pretty fine." He chuckled weakly, not believing that he was part of the Gryffindor House.

Sirius let out a threatening growl.

Darek quieted down. "You know, it wasn't such a riot hiding from you either. I got sucked into the girls' cabin. A bunch of seventh year Gryffindors and Ravenclaws."

James moaned. "You got stuck with Michelle and her group?" He nodded towards the giggling girls..

Darek hid his face. "Yes." Came the muffled voice. "Don't attract their attention."

James chuckled. "No fair! Do you know how hard it is to try and get with them?"

Darek looked shocked. "They're nightmares! I don't think I've met a dumber girl!"

"So? She's got a got a got body!"

"As if that makes up for the lack of anything between her ears." Darek snorted. "Promise me to never let myself get stuck with her again." He shuddered.

"You're the one who ran from us." James muttered grumpily, remembering why Darek had gotten stuck with the girls, as well as the fact that he still hadn't changed back. "I still don't get how you managed to hide from us."

"If I told you, I wouldn't be able to do it again." Darek grinned tiredly, and James nodded back, grinning slightly.

"You think you'll be needing to hide from us again?"

Darek smirked, not even bothering to respond.

_Note two things: _

_1) If you review and don't have an account please leave an email!_

_2) In response to a question, yes, I am American. It should be pretty obvious by the fact that I try to have the characters speak British English and fail miserably. ___

_Review Please!_


	8. My God They're Insane

_Note: So I know you're shocked that I'm updating. Really, it's a bit surprising to myself that I actually got it together to do this. And I know you either expected me to have died or fallen of the face of the earth, because really, that's the only logical explanation for not updating in _forever_, so I'm here to say sorry, and that I'm getting back on track with my writing. Hopefully._

Chapter 8: My God They're Insane

Darek's adjustment to Gryffindor was seamless.

Well actually, not, but he was trying his best.

In the Slytherin common room, you were expected to be quiet and moody. And to sit apart from one another. If you were part of a gang you would sit around the leader and not make a sound unless you were spoken to.

Of course, there were the few oddball exceptions, but that was how it was.

The Gryffindor Tower was a party house, especially the common room. There was almost constant yelling of friends from one group to another, the flames flickered in the breezes of running kids, and the atmosphere in general was much brighter and more open.

But you still had your hierarchy, and captaining the two squishy red chairs in front of the main fire were Sirius Black and James Potter.

Darek had not yet made close friends…or really, any friends at all. As a seventh year he shared a dorm with the Marauders minus Potter who lived in the Head dorms (though he promised to come visit occasionally).

Other than that, Darek was a fringe student, who hung out in the Marauders' shadow.

In the few cases that he wasn't in their shadow, he mainly tried to avoid attention. A major part of the avoiding attention was generally because he was not there to garner attention; he was in the library or on the pitch, flying.

However, he didn't always manage to avoid attention, and the unwanted attention mainly came from the group of girls he had been stuck with on the train. Their leader was Michelle, the ditzy one, and what made it worse was that James was trying to date her. Thankfully not for conversation.

Other than having harder classes (which he relished, finally having a challenge to overcome) and having no friends (nothing new there) Darek didn't have any source of excitement.

That was, until the end of the third week.

A notice had been posted in the Gryffindor common room by none other than the Head Boy James Potter, coincidentally, also the Gryffindor Quidditch Captain.

Gryffindor Quidditch Team Tryouts!

Sunday 8AM Quidditch Pitch.

Open posts: Seeker, Chaser, Beater

Reserves will be chosen for all posts!

This sign, of course, caused an uproar for almost all Gryffindor house members.

Darek read the note quickly and removed himself from the churning mass of Gryffindors still trying to see the sign.

Walking quickly up to his dorm, he grabbed his Blazing Comet, and opening the window, he jumped out.

Darek let himself free fall for a few seconds before slowly bringing his broom under him and angling so that his speed woke the magic in his broom up.

As the magic in the broom woke up, Darek felt a slight buzz go through his body. He closed his eyes for a minute and opened them to pull up and away, towards the pitch.

Flying around the pitch a couple times, Darek felt his stress leave, momentarily, and the giddiness of flight kicked in.

Whooping, Darek pulled tight summersaults across the pitch at two hundred feet in the air. Smiling he straightened out and did a couple of fast laps around the pitch.

After warming up he pulled out his wand and conjured a quaffle.

Pulling a couple loop-de-loops Darek came up in front of the golden hoops and pulled back his arm, shooting the ball.

The arc was lovely, the ball slicing through the almost still air…

And of course, it completely missed the ring.

Darek sighed. Diving to grab the ball he spun around the hoop's post to attempt a quidditch "dunk", the ball was rejected as it hit the rim.

He stared at the hoop, stared at the red ball rolling on the ground, and stared back at the hoop.

"Oh man…I'm terrible, I can't shoot! At all! This plan was a failure! What's the point of me being a guy if I can't play quidditch? None! None at all! It was a waste of time, and good ingredients, and humiliation, and money and clothes!" Darek ranted. However good he was at trick flying, his aim never was very strong. In an attempt to release his frustration he let himself fall from an upright position so that he was hanging from the broom by his legs, his arms dangling. Urging the broom forward slowly he took his time on the turns, using his knees to nudge the broom in the correct direction.

He let up when the blood flow to his head made him start seeing spots. Reaching up he used his hands to push the broom faster and took a turn, allowing him to regain his upright seat.

Sighing he picked up the quaffle and flew up. Glancing down the field he imagined the opposing team, red robes flapping in the breeze, _Though I guess it's green now, _he thought to himself.

Tucking the quaffle under his arm, he maneuvered in between the oncoming players, ducking under bludgers and avoiding the Beaters' bats (Slytherin played nasty) he made his way down the field. Coming up to the hoops, he saw Regulus Black guarding the goals, in the center, poised to fly in either direction.

Darek smirked, hefting the quaffle, and let it fly in a arc heading towards the right hoop. Regulus dived for it, only to realize that Darek had put a spin on it, causing the ball's direction to change, and allowing it to fly through the unguarded middle hoop.

Smiling, he vanished the red quaffle and let himself almost float to the ground.

--

The next day, Saturday, most of Gryffindor spent outside, at the pitch. Almost half of the house was out on a broom, hoping to make the popular team, and the other half was sitting around in the stands, finishing the extensive history essays they had been assigned and chatting with their friends, watching some dismal attempts at flying.

There was even a small contingent of Slytherins, watching and jeering at the younger Gryffindors.

Darek took one look at the crowd and quickly turned away, opting to fly over the rest of the grounds in an attempt to clear his mind.

Dinner was a subdued affair because of all the tired students (either from flying or just being in the sun all day). Darek ate a quick meal, forgoing the seconds of shepherd's pie he usually took. Turning in early, he barely registered the three Marauders entering the dorm.

--

Sunday morning dawned bright, no clouds in the sky, and a light mist that was quickly being burned away by the strong sun.

All in all, it was a perfect day for Quidditch tryouts.

After breakfast, there was a mass migration down to the pitch, many of the Gryffindors with their brooms. There was also a noticeable group of non-Gryffindors who came down to watch the potential new adversaries.

After about half an hour (at 8:28AM, _not_ 8AM), James Potter blew a whistle to signal the start of the tryouts. The students collected around him, a hush descending upon the observers. The current members of the Quidditch team ranged behind James, Sirius Black as beater, Evan Long as chaser and Bruce Woode as keeper.

"Fellow students, we gather here today to induct three new members into our glorious Quidditch team, and hopefully find reserves for all spots." He grinned as girls fluttered their eyelashes at him.

"First we will have you do a few preliminary tests to gather the cream from the top, if you will." The hopeful faces began to diminish at the admission.

"Alright now," Sirius stepped up. "Everyone mount your brooms, we want to see 30 laps around the pitch, and make it snappy. Go!"

Darek had mounted when told and was one of the first of the hopefuls in the air. Of the fifty students who were there, only twenty were able to take off when Sirius yelled go. The rest were in a tangled mess on the ground, trying to mount their brooms and take off without knocking somebody over. The students finally sorted themselves out and by the time the last hopeful took off, Darek was already on his 17th lap.

Sirius turned to James. "So do we cut everyone off after the first 23?"

"Twenty-three?"

"Yeah, why not?"

"But twenty-three? Isn't that kinda a random number?"

"That's the point."

James stared at Sirius. "Mate, I will never understand your reasoning."

Sirius laughed. "May it always be so."

So, as the hopefuls flew in, James counted them off and dismissed all after the 23rd student.

"Alright, now that we have lowered the numbers, we will be testing the specialties. Please sort yourselves so that we may test those abilities. Beaters to the mutt Sirius over there" - James grinned at Sirius' rude hand sign - "Keepers to Woode, chasers to Long and seekers to me." The students divvied up as they were told and the groups consisted of six seekers, five beaters, five keepers, and seven chasers.

The students split up and Darek followed the six other chasers over to Evan Long. Evan was a sixth year who had been on the team for two years previously and was very good. Shockingly, he worked well with James, a very unusual trait in people. James was a very solitary person, laughing and joking with everyone, yet always above. Excepting, of course, his fellow Marauders. And even then, only Sirius could ever be called a true close friend of his.

Evan studied the seven students. If all went how it should, only three would be turned away. Hopefully. The year before, the team had suffered because a lack of talented reserves. James (and the rest of the team) was hoping to change that.

"Alright guys, let's see some passing. You four against me and these three." He gestured, splitting the group in half. Darek was on the team against Evan.

"Okay, let's go!" He tossed the Quaffle in the air and let the seven hopefuls battle it out, stepping in to just keep the teams even. Darek managed to knock the ball from Evan's hands, allowing Whitney, whom he had called up on Evan's other side, to catch the ball and soar off. Laughing, Evan admitted his error and called a halt to the passing.

"Alright, now we're gonna do some shooting. Line up while I get Bruce." The seven tired Gryffindors bobbed on their brooms, waiting for the signal.

They saw Bruce break away from the possible keepers and fly in front of the goal.

"Whitney! Start!" Evan called from the side, James floating next to him.

Whitney flew off towards the goal, shooting, and the ball was saved by Bruce, but at least it was aimed to go through the hoop.

Darek hung back was the others began to take their turns. Finally Evan called out. "Trueblood! You gonna shoot or just float there?"

Darek winced and flew forward slowly, catching the quaffle from Bruce. Muttering to himself he bobbed and weaved his way towards the goals.

"Any day now Trueblood!"

That was Black.

Darek winced. "Guess I've got nothing to lose." He muttered, flying forward. He launched the ball and in a brilliant move narrowly missed the center hoop, only to bean Potter in the head as he circled around.

Darek rolled his eyes heavenwards and spoke to his God. "Only I could manage that."

Black was laughing his ass off, nearly falling off his broom as Potter looked around wildly for the person who hit him. The rest of the team sat bemused as Evan retrieved the quaffle.

Evan passed the quaffle off to Whitney before flying over to Derek. "Good power on the throw, and you got a great spin on the ball, but you need some work on your aim. Take another couple shots." He commented before flying off to watch the others again.

The chaser hopefuls tossed the ball around for the next few minutes, each taking more shots on the keeper as Evan called out compliments and criticisms.

Finally he blew a whistle and the players collected on the ground by him. "Alright you guys, good show, you've got speed and you're all pretty good at ball handling, but unfortunately only one of you will be picked for starting line-up, and three as substitutes, but don't let that discourage you. You can always play in pick-up games. Now I'm going to go discuss the choices with our captain. Feel free to get a drink of water or something."

Darek watched Evan walk away before joining the circle of hopefuls.

"So who do you think's gonna make it?" A fourth year asked.

The other six just stared as the boy blushed and looked down, seemingly wishing he was standing on a pit of quicksand.

Darek watched Evan talk to Potter and Black, all three of them gesturing towards the seven Gryffindors.

Five minutes later the three of them, as well as Bruce, who had put the balls away, walked over to the waiting chasers.

"Alright you guys, as the last player to be chosen, this years new chaser is…drum roll please…" He glanced at Sirius, who seemed to have anticipated this, who conjured the drum and sticks. "Whitney Pierce!"

Whitney grinned as the other six patted her on the back, bittersweet smiles adorning their faces.

"And the substitutes are Charlie Buck, Walker Hardwick, and Darek Trueblood." Evan added. "You're all expected at practice this Tuesday, 6PM. Make sure you're all on time.

Evan, Black and Woode were already walking away as Potter wrapped up. "Great job everyone, don't get discouraged and keep working on your skills, there'll be spots open next year. See ya Tuesday." He started walking away before turning back.

"Hey Darek, c'mon." He motioned Derek towards him.

Derek sighed at having to deal with Potter. He might be an excellent chaser and bright student, but his attitude still sucked. Big time.

"Darek, I know you tried out for chaser, and you're a good size for the position." Potter trailed off, thinking.

"But?"

"Have you ever considered seeker?" He said bluntly.

Darek looked at Potter in surprise. "No, not really."

"I'm just saying this 'cause I was watching you flying…had to make sure you didn't bean me again." He smirked at Darek. Seeing no reaction he continued. "Anyway, you're flying great, and with great speed, but your aim is terrible."

"I hit you didn't I?" Darek grumbled, annoyed at Potter. He didn't need the stuck-up pretty boy of Gryffindor to tell him that he had bad aim.

"Yes yes," Potter said patronizingly. "I can help you with aim, but that's not my interest, I think you'd make a good seeker. Big enough to hold your own in tough weather, and agile enough to keep up with that twig of a Ravenclaw." _(Rachel Harris, fifth year, 5'4", 108 lbs)._ "I've already accepted a seeker, John Wilks, but I want you to sub for seeker as well as chaser."

Darek winced, that meant extra training, with little to no game time.

Potter watched Darek out of the corner of his eye. "If you get good enough, like I think you can, I might even make you starter." He carefully avoided Darek's almost worshiping gaze.

"Ah…um…" Darek was shocked. This was Potter? The guy who had made Lily's life hell for five years? No way.

"Don't feel like you gotta thank me." Potter laughed.

"Uh, yeah…thanks, why're you…?" He motioned with his hands.

"Being nice?" Potter chuckled. "I see you hanging back in classes, spending time in the library. The library?! Who the hell spends free time in the library?" He laughed again.

Darek muttered under his breath, staring at the ground. "'S'not like I had anything better to do."

"Exactly." Potter said, as if Darek had proved him right about something. "Which is why you're going to be hanging out with us."

"Us?" Darek questioned, he couldn't be asking him to join the Marauders…could he?

"Us. Me, Sirius, Remus…Peter."

"You're kidding me."

"Why should I? You're in our dorm, you're in our classes, and yet I barely talk to you." He said, opening the door. "So, I'm trying to rectify the problem. C'mon, there's something we should discuss with the rest of the gang." He smirked before walking off towards the Gryffindor Tower.

Darek shook his head and sighed before following the crazy Head Boy up the stairs.

--

Remus looked at the four boys around him. Giving Darek a hard look he said to him: "Are you fully aware of what this project entails? Once you get these dufuses going you can't stop'em."

Darek gave him a long-suffering look. "But what am I gonna do to stop them from starting in the first place?"

Remus smiled. "Good point. Hope to see you at the end of all this."

Darek nodded as Remus left the room.

"Alright guys. Do your worst." He sighed as James and Sirius pushed him into the shower.

--

How did he get dragged into this? How?

Darek reviewed the series of events that led him to be shampooing his hair with some wizard's hair product designed to make his hair soft.

"_So Darek, can I call you Darek? Good. Tell us about you."_

"_About me?"_

"_Yeah, what're your favorite foods, where do you go over summer hols, whose image do you jerk off to?"_

_Darek blushed deep red. "I'm not really in to girls like that." Darek admitted._

_The Marauders backed away and he glanced up._

"_But I'm not into guys like that either!" _

_The four pranksters sighed and relaxed._

"_I just, don't really care about dating right now."_

_Sirius chuckled. "We'll just have to fix that then, won't we?"_

_Remus groaned. "Here comes the madness."_

_Darek watched Sirius suspiciously. "What do you mean?"_

"_Well, look at you." Sirius said, walking around Darek. "You've got the body, the muscles, though you could do with some toning, and you've got the face. Now all you have to get is the attitude."_

"_Oh god." Darek muttered, falling back on his bed._

"_Nonsense, this is gonna be great. By the end of the month the girls'll be trippin' to say hey to you." James added, cleaning his glasses._

From there it was pretty much James and Sirius forcing him out of his clothes and into the shower. After they explained to him that they were going to remodel him.

_Honestly, I thought I was free of all this when I turned to a guy. Who knew the sex gods of Hogwarts were such girly guys._ Darek snorted as he rinsed out his hair.

"Don't forget to use Mike's Marvelously Magical conditioner!" Sirius yelled through the open bathroom door.

Darek looked at the purple conditioner. "You have to be kidding me!" He shouted back.

"Never! And I'll know if you don't use it!"

"How would he know that?" Darek muttered to himself.

"It's got a minty smell!" Sirius called.

"Okay. That's not cool. How can he hear what I'm saying?"

"It's called eavesdropping!"

"There's a charm for that?"

"Yeah!"

"Shit." Darek growled. "Get the fuck out of here Black, you're messing with my look but you're not messing with my mind."

He heard James laughing at Sirius.

Getting out of the shower he grabbed the nearest towel and dried off. Letting his hair hang wet he walked out of the bathroom with the towel securely wrapped around his waist.

James and Sirius were waiting outside the door with their wands raised.

Within a second registering the threat he felt two spells hit him.

Strangely, he didn't fell anything happen. Glancing at the two Marauders he saw their satisfied looks and immediately felt ill. They weren't his friends. They tricked him. It was all a huge joke.

"That looks great. Check it out." Sirius said, conjuring up a mirror. "See? I told you the conditioner would be great."

Darek stared at the mirror. "You cut my hair."

"Yeah, doesn't it look great?" James said, standing next to him.

"You cut my hair."

"Yeah, we did. It looks good, yeah?"

"I can't believe it."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, we get it." Sirius rolled his eyes. "Your point?"

"Where the hell did you learn charms to _cut_ your _hair_?" Darek stared at them. Not only did they know the charms to cut hair, but it actually looked _good_.

"How else would your hair get shorter?" Sirius looked at Darek nonplussed.

"I don't know, use scissors maybe?" Darek said sarcastically.

"Now, now children. Let's not get all feisty." James said pacifying the two hot heads. "Anyway, Rex, don't you like your hairdo?" He pouted.

Darek sneered. "Ugh Potter. Don't _ever_ do that again."

"What? Give you the most awesome haircut?"

"No, pout."

"Aww, why not?" He pouted again.

"Potter, I will beat you if you do that again."

"But the girls always say it looks adorable."

Darek gave him a disbelieving look. "You want to look adorable? Man you're weak."

"I am not weak. How dare you say I'm weak. I'm James Potter. Potters are always strong." He put his fists on his hips and looked up and off into the air.

Sirius rolled his eyes and pushed James, startling him and knocking him over.

When James gave him a wounded look he snorted. "You were being a git."

"And you weren't?"

Sirius gave him a Haughty Look (™ by The Most Noble and Ancient House of Black). "No, Sirius would be lowered to that level."

"Did you just refer to yourself in third person?" Darek laughed at the two arguing boys. And girls thought that these two were smart, suave, and hot?

He walked over to his dresser, blatantly ignoring the clothes James and Sirius put out.

"So why are you guys such a big deal?" He snorted. "I can't imagine many girls having the hots for you knowing how you act in here."

Sirius took particular offense to this comment and stood up proudly. "'Cause we got personality with a capital Y. Why? 'Cause we're _hot_."

Darek snorted. "_Right_."

"Hey! Why aren't you wearing the clothes we set out for you?" James cried petulantly.

"Shut up Potter, you sound like a whinging baby." Darek commented coolly. "And I'm not wearing those clothes 'cause I actually have _taste_."

"No need to be all snippy." James commented, leaning up against his bedpost, arms crossed, affecting his 'cool guy' pose. "You better be careful. If I didn't know any better I'd say you were a Slytherin."

Darek smirked at him. "Maybe I am." He turned back to his dresser and pulled out a tie. "Then again, maybe I'm not." He smiled, waving the red and gold cloth in front of Potter.

Sirius stood next to James. "Alright. Next phase. The lingo."

James picked up. "You gotta be able to pick up girls like it's nothing and _it has to be natural_. A guy can use a 100 percent guaranteed pick-up line and screw it up just 'cause it sounds forced. On the other hand, as long as a guy looks and says it right he can use just about anything and get _any_ girl he wants."

Sirius nodded seriously. "We'll start with the basics. Repeat after me."

"After me." Darek said in a bored tone.

"Ha ha Trueblood. Very funny."

"I thought it was too." He said smugly.

Sirius huffed. "Stop interrupting me."

"Why? Can't keep a train of thought going that long?"

"Yes I can!"

"Then what were we just talking about?"

"Uhhh….."

"Basic pick-up lines." James hissed at his best mate.

"Oh yeah! Repeat aft- oh no you don't!" He cried, catching on to Darek's knowing smirk. "I'm not being fooled by you Trueblood! You know, we really gotta get you a nickname, I can't keep saying all these long, awkward names."

Darek looked at Sirius in newfound awe. "Wow Black, your train of thought just had a head-on collision with an Avada Kedavra."

"What can I say? I am pretty smart. Now what about Rex?"

James hit his head against the bedpost. "He didn't just compliment you Sirius. That was a major dis. And I like it. How'd you get the name?"

Darek stared at both of them. "You're mentally insane. I'm not safe in this room any more.

"Oh. You're a bastard Rex, but a good guy, so I'll forgive you. This once. That and I'm too hungry to beat up anyone."

James nodded.

"Now Rex, repeat after me: 'Is that a tic-tac in your shirt pocket or are you just really excited to see me?'"

Darek stared at him like he was crazy (which didn't seem so far out of the question right then.) "There is no way I am _ever_ going up to a girl and saying that."

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "You wanna bet?"

"How much?" James said excitedly. "I've still got a couple galleons around here somewhere."

Sirius gave James a disbelieving look. "Not you, you dumbass, that git standing right in front of you."

"You?"

"Don't get me started Potter."

Darek turned when he heard the door open, admitting Remus and Peter.

"Oh." Peter said, surprised. "You're still alive."

"Barely." Darek said. "I feel like I might kill myself soon though. Are these really to two 'sex gods of Hogwarts'?" He asked disbelievingly.

Remus gave an understanding smirk. "Yeah…just don't ask and you might live to see the end of the year."

"I don't think I'll make it to the end of the _week_." Darek stared at the two bickering seventeen-year-olds.

"Just ignore it and it usually goes away." Peter said helpfully.

Darek gave him a doubtful look.

Just then James and Sirius became aware of their other two friends.

"Gentlemen," He said with a flourish. "Allow me to present sexy Rexy!"

Darek looked towards the ceiling. "Our Father, who art in heaven…please let me make it through the next week." He muttered.

_SPLAT! POP! SPLASH!_

Darek stood soaked, staring at a cackling poltergeist.

"_PEEVES!_" He roared as the Marauders laughed at him.

Rex grabbed his wand and leveled it at a fleeing Peeves. Giving chase he tore down the stairs and through the common room, oblivious to all the stares he was receiving.

"Was that the new kid?"

"Trueblood?"

"Did you see those _muscles_-?!"

"Not even James or Sirius is that strong!"

Poor Rex. He was in for a tough week.

--

_End Note: When did the weather channel get the Euro forecast as well? As you can tell, I've neglected my duties as a FF writer to update in favor of watching the weather, football, and Comedy Central (StewartColbert08). Oh, and reading manga, as well as HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS. Eight hours flat. 759 pages in 480 minutes. Did anyone feel like they were reading a conglomerate of fanfic from our own writers?_

_Please Review!_

_PS - I took on this story, _Warfare_. The first seven chapters aren't mine, but after that it'll be all my invention. The usual Harry becomes super rich and messes with manipulative!Dumbledore. Just keep an eye out for it, k?_


	9. Confidence by the Bottle

_**Special Update, Hot Off the Press:**_

**GIANTS WIN SUPER BOWL XLII!!!**

Okay, so I'm not _actually_ a Giants fan, but the Pats were NOT ALLOWED to have a perfect season. The Dolphins had one and the only other team that's allowed to have one is Da Bears. But that last TD…OH MY GOD! Okay okay, so you'd probably prefer ff, so, here it is….

_Note: No way, right? I can't possibly be writing again. It's a shock. Amazing. Unbelievable. And I'm not gonna say anything else other than: You know you've had too little sleep when asked to explain what a turduckin is and you say, "Well, _obviously_, it's a turkey and a duckin," _and_ don't realize what you've said until your friend asks, "Duckin?"_

_Story Update: Just so you know, they're about a month into school right now._

"ARRRRRRRRGH!" Rex threw himself down on the bright red couch.

"Tough day at work dear?" Remus smirked.

All he received was a glare.

"Told you not to let them do it. I told you, and what did you do? You went and let them. And here I was thinking _I _was the smart one of the group."

Rex sighed, limply sprawled across the sofa. "I didn't think it would be this bad. I mean, honestly, who would think changing your hairstyle would change your popularity."

Remus laughed. "It's only because you were passable to begin with. You just needed some help."

"Looks like I still do. James 'n Sirius are never this ruffled just from walking through the halls."

"Maybe if you were walking instead of running like a crazed maniac you'd be better off."

"I'd like to see you escape Stephanie on a rampage. Plus a couple Slytherins threatened me for being a 'pretty boy' as they call it." Darek wrinkled his nose. "Just because I wash myself doesn't mean I'm gay."

Remus chuckled. "Maybe if you didn't act like such a girl they wouldn't make fun of you."

Rex stiffened imperceptibly. "Yeah…what was that essay for 'figuration?"

"Solid to liquid, the difficulties, what to watch out for…you know the drill."

"There is no way in hell I'm gonna be able to finish this essay on time."

Remus rolled his eyes. "Because you only have, gasps of horror, a week to complete it."

"Exactly."

"Exactly what?" Sirius and James slunk into the room, trying to stay low.

As if it helped them at all. Remus was more adept at slinking. The troublesome pair might be better if they didn't insist on flirting with girls at the same time as attracting no attention.

"Exactly that."

"What?"

"What?"

"Shut up."

"No, you shut up."

"No, you shut up."

"You shut up first."

"Why don't all three of you shut up."

"Or James could help me with my Transfiguration essay." Rex looked at the older boy hopefully.

James stared at the wide blue eyes. They were a funny blue, kinda green tinged with little grey specks. Very peculiar. And those eyelashes were sinfully long for a boy…

"James?"

"Huh? Oh yeah. I guess. What is it?" He grabbed the essay.

"Ooh, good start." He grinned.

Sirius peered at the parchment. "That's about how far I got before getting bored."

Remus sighed. "And how you manage to pull off your amazing grades I will never know."

Sirius smirked. "And you'll never find out."

Rex turned to James, who looked to be deep in thought. Or asleep.

"Wakey, wakey dumbass. I need you to do my homework for me."

"Well why should I?" James laughed at Rex's disappointed expression. "Especially after you swear at me, that's not very nice at all."

"I wouldn't have sworn at you if you hadn't told Stephanie that I liked her but was too shy to ask her out." Darek glared.

Sirius laughed. "Nice goin' Prongs!"

"I'll help you later." James said, after stifling his laughter. "I wanna fly now, you up for it?"

Rex practically jumped off the couch. Flicking his wand his broom came flying down the staircase. James and Sirius followed suit while Rex flicked a window open. Glancing around he made sure the ground was clear before hopping out.

Hearing several shrieks he glanced up to see many girls with their faces pressed to the window panes. Grinning he played it up, waiting a little longer before making a show of struggling to control his freefall. By the time he had finished his performance James and Sirius had joined him in the air.

Sirius laughed. "Plenty of time for that later. Let's go."

James and Sirius worked him hard, forcing him to do laps (both flying and running) before doing a general warm up. Since he was a back-up they wanted him to be able to play any position. However, they noticed that he had a certain flair for seeking.

So, after swinging the beater's bat around a couple times, attempting to make shots on James (and failing miserably) and attempting to block shots made by James (failing even more miserably) they finally let him loose after the golden snitch.

Rex quickly figured out that this was his preferred position. The only thing that mattered was him, his broom, and the snitch.

An inner peace settled over his mind as he tore through the sky after the glinting orb.

--

"Rex mate, I don't know why you bothered with chaser, you would've made seeker no sweat. I'm still on edge from that last dive." Sirius laughed.

Rex grinned. "What's wrong, never seen a pro dive?"

"Haha. You're not that good boy." Sirius rolled his eyes. "Here I am, trying to be nice for once and you go and insult me."

"What? You don't think I could make pro?"

"I have no doubt you could, but not now. For instance if I had a bludger handy, I could've smacked you off your broom and you never would've seen it coming."

"Is that a challenge?"

"It could've been." Sirius smirked.

"But it's not." James stepped between them. "I don't need anyone getting injured before the game."

"But that's two weeks from now!" Sirius complained.

"Two weeks for you to stay healthy and not attempt any stunts. Got it?"

James was looking at both of them, but he was saying it to Sirius.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, go tell that to Woode, he's the one who gets in bar fights when he ought to be writing essays for McGonagall." Sirius hopped on his broom and began flying up to the Tower.

"I'll tell him you said that." James laughed and followed with Rex.

Stepping through the window they were met by disbelieving faces.

"What? You've never seen an amazing entrance before?" Sirius grinned at the crowd.

The silence continued.

"Okay, you can speak now." Rex rolled his eyes.

"John got hurt." A small voice came from the shadows.

"John?" Sirius questioned.

Rex's eyes widened. "Shit." He muttered under his breath.

"Who's John?" James turned to Rex.

Rex stared at him. "You were the one who picked him, shouldn't you know?"

James stared at Rex, and Rex could see the light bulb turn on in James' eyes.

"The seeker?"

"Yeah."

"The one you're back up to?"

"Yeah."

"So what's the big deal. He got hurt, he'll be fine for the game, plus it's two weeks away." James looked nonplussed.

So did Rex and Sirius.

A fifth year girl walked forward. "He won't be playing. He was caught fighting a Slytherin and both broke bones. As a punishment they have to heal the muggle way."

"The what way?"

"The long way Black." Rex sighed.

"So that makes you…"

"Yeah."

"Oh. Well, welcome to the team."

"Hmm, not exactly the way I wanted to make it."

"What are you talking about? As a reserve this was the _only_ way you'd make it."

"Whatever, I'm going to sleep."

The crowd parted as Rex departed, and then scattered as the students lost interest in the proceedings.

James and Sirius sat down on a couch, next to Remus and Peter.

"So. Rex, huh?"

"Yeah, hope he's up to it."

"He's up to it."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, if he can handle our makeover he can handle a bit of Quidditch. You saw him Sirius, you saw that dive, and no matter what you say, it wouldn't take much to make him pro."

"But he's not there yet. I still think he could do with more confidence."

"Yeah, and you could do with less ego, but can't always get what we wish for can we?"

Sirius threw a cushion at James. "Tosser."

"You know you love me."

"Only your mother."

--

"So Rex, James and I were talking a couple days ago, you know, after you got inducted into the team. Anyways, we've got some plans for you today."

"Today's a Friday."

"Exactly, which is why we're going to town."

"To town?"

"To town."

"Exactly which town is this? The town of Transfiguration? Or of illegality."

"Well, technically, it's called Hogsmeade, but we like to refer to it as our playground."

"And I have _no_ interest in what games you play there."

"Oh, I think you do."

"Nope, I'm pretty sure I don't."

"Trust me, you do. Anyway, we're leaving now, so magic your bag away or something, don't worry, James'll cover the tab."

"Tab? Like at a bar?"

"Hmmm, you could do with some new clothes, I think we'll drop by Malkin's first."

"What?! New clothes? I don't need new clothes for a trip to a bar!"

"Glad you agreed to come with us, now hurry up, James is meeting us there."

"There? Where? What did I agree to? I'm not going!"

"Come along now, we haven't got all day."

"Well, according to you we have."

"Just move your fat ass of the bench and come along before I create a scene."

"Black, you already _have _created a scene."

"Well it's not my fault if Merlin made me perfect."

"He didn't. He made you insufferable, now let's go if it means that much to you."

"It does."

"Shut up."

"Let me think about that…no. But I will be quiet for the next five minutes if you give me some of that chocolate."

"It's all yours."

--

"So Sirius here tells me that we're in for a field trip today." Rex banished his bag to his room.

"Yep." James said, closely watching a piece of parchment. "Okay, we're good for the next four minutes, let's move out."

"Where exactly are we going?" Rex questioned as the three boys jogged down the halls.

"To get you some confidence."

"No way, you can buy that in the stores these days?"

"Yep, they sell it by the bottle at the local bars. It has flames and tastes like whiskey."

"Hmmm, I think I've had it before. Does it also lower your inhibitions?"

Sirius and James shared a smirk. "Something like that."

"Oh goody, detention and a hangover, just what I wanted to look forward to." Muttered Rex.

"Here we are." James stopped in front of an _ugly_ statue of a witch. "_Dissendium_." He said quietly and the hump disappeared. "Hop in." He grinned at Rex.

"You first." Rex said, unwillingly.

"Okay." James hopped in so that he was feet first before he disappeared into the darkness.

Rex stared distrusting at the hole and glanced at the grinning Sirius. "If this is a prank I will _murder_ you."

"No worries, no worries, you'll be fine, now just go before we get caught."

Rex took one last look at Hogwarts' corridors before following his Quidditch Captain down the hole.

Two and a half years later (or forty-five seconds, give or take a few), Rex exited the slide with a graceful somersault to land at James' feet.

"Took you long enough. Didn't trust me?"

"Is it that hard to believe?" Rex muttered to himself as Sirius exited the slide with a gracefulness that only came after years of practice. Or from just being Sirius Black.

"Okay, Operation Get Smashed and Score is underway." Sirius grinned.

_End Note: This is only half the chapter, I just really wanted to post right now…that and I have to read 132pages of history textbook for a test tomorrow. I will be updating again, and it will be sooner than this last um…yeah…you know…well…_

_REVIEW PLEASE!_

_Last Note: The only thing I have to say is that if you didn't know the Giants won until you read this, I…well…I don't know what to say._


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